45 Tails rolled into Nine
by DurielZamoran
Summary: Rewritten! Set after VoTE now. Before Kakashi can reach him, Naruto is found by a more... eccentric individual. Given a choice, Naruto can either help him or... walk away. No strings attached.
1. Blood and Rain: How many fingers?

A/N: Almost forgot to put this in .

Anywho's, this is the first Rewritten chapter. Tell me what you think people, and I'll reply in kind. Possibly scathingly.

The only real major changes are the timeline and Kairai's demon. It has now been demoted to Gobi so it meshes with Canon better.

* * *

Naruto lay upon the ground, bleeding heavily from a hole in his shoulder. _'…Is… Is this the end…?_'

"**ARGH, YOU STUPID BRAT! THIS DAMNED SEAL IS PREVENTING ME FROM HEALING YOU FAST ENOUGH!**" Naruto smiled, the corner of his lips twitching upwards slightly. "…Bye, bye…" Truthfully, he couldn't think of some wisecrack to throw at the fox.

He heard footsteps, and a figure came into his incredibly blurry eyesight. "Now isn't this a coincidence… I don't suppose you could tell how many fingers I'm holding up, now could you?" the voice of the newcomer was light-hearted, and obviously faked. He could make out silver-hair and a smile that would kill newborn puppies from sheer creepiness. It wasn't… evil. Just… not right. It was the kind of sickeningly sweet smile that made grown men burst into tears.

The figure had the audacity to actually hold up some fingers. Naruto could see 7, despite the fact that the figure had only held up one hand. He could vaguely hear him saying something; he managed to catch the words, "Such a mess…" and "It's been raining pretty strongly, huh?" before he succumbed to the far less creepy darkness that had begun to enshroud his vision; his last thoughts were on the no doubt thoroughly insane figure that had quite simply, attempted to discuss the weather with a dying adolescent.

Kakashi and Pakkun burst through the trees, the former looking around frantically whilst the latter sniffed the ground. "I can smell Naruto's scent… It ends here…" He said, gesturing at the bloodstained ground. There was an outline that vaguely resembled Naruto's body, with a slashed Konoha hit-aite next to it. "The hit-aite's Sasuke's…" noted Pakkun, having gotten a good whiff of it. Kakashi's face was grave. "Can you smell anything else?"

"There's another scent… But it's weak. The rain has weakened it and the blood is overpowering it." Kakashi shook his head sadly. '_Naruto… Where are you? What happened to you?_'

Naruto opened his eyes blearily, finding himself face-to-face with the person from before; Said person was standing over him, the same eerie smile on his face. "So you finally awoke, Sleeping Beauty. Look's like I wouldn't have to give you a kiss after all…" Naruto had the sudden urge to punch his face in, were it not for the fact that some tight bandages signalled him that doing so could be detrimental to his already poor health. "Name's Kairai, Zetsumei Kairai. What's yours, Whiskers?"

The urge returned and this time Naruto didn't restrain it. His fist connected solidly to the smiling visage of the newly-introduced, Kairai. The only reaction was a slight shift in the position of his head. "If you want to take out your anger, there's a log right there." He pointed to a conveniently placed log, right next to him. It had a surprisingly good replica of his face painted on it for good measure.

Naruto stared at him blankly. He paused to take in his appearance. Simple black shinobi pants, nothing flashy, and a pair of geta. A black, open anorak with a fur-trim hardly covered the fishnet shirt underneath. A pair of fingerless gloves covered his hands, to finish his look. His silver hair was drawn back into a short pony tail, and a pair of mauve eyes stared at him. A slashed Iwa hit-aite adorned his forehead, keeping the hair out of his eyes… well, some of it anyway. The hair itself was wild and untamed.

"Now if you've stopped the quite delicious urge to bash my face in, I believe I should fill you in on why you're here and whatnot."

"Please… Do go ahead."

"I brought you here, because of _what_ _you are_"

"You brought me here, because I'm Jinchuuriki?!" Naruto shouted, not liking the idea,

"No, I brought you here because you're blonde, and I wanted to make a wig out of your hair." Naruto paled; a bright flash and clicking noise was emitted from the corner, as Kairai laughed. "What… Just happened?"

"You fell for an obvious lie."

"…"

"Moving on, yes, I brought you here because you're a Jinchuuriki… The only reason for that is because _I'm _a Jinchuuriki." Naruto blinked, surprised. "I'm doing this because… I have a vision. A Vision of all nine Jinchuuriki united under one banner, flag, and/or symbol." Naruto sweat-dropped as he took a dramatic pose, a strangely efficient genjutsu backdrop appeared behind him. "… Then what…?"

"Then, we, as a whole, will decide our next course of action. Whether that's forming a village, mercenary group, business, living ordinarily, or just plain world domination… We will cross that hurdle when the time is right." He explained simply.

"Now, I'm going to give you a choice. See, I'm feeling nice and generous. Therefore, you have 24 hours. 24 hours to decide whether you want to leave, or join me. Rest assured, if you leave, it will not be the last you will hear of me. And no, I am not going to wage war." Naruto paused as Kairai began sharpening an already deadly looking knife. The blade was stainless and silvery, glinting in the light. Its edge was visibly jagged, and the blade itself was at least the size of his hand.

Kairai was humming innocently as he performed the task diligently, seemingly oblivious to the now quite-freaked out Naruto. "So… Which demon do you have?" He said, trying to keep the nervousness out of his voice. He succeeded, for the most part. "The Gobi no Hokou, Whiskers…" Naruto's eye twitched.

"Do you mind not calling me that?"

"As a matter of fact, yes, I do mind. Thanks for asking."

Naruto huffed and walked around. If he went back, the villager's would despise him for simply surviving. Worst case scenario, he gets blamed for the failure and the whole incident. Best case, the beatings just get worse, because he survived. If he travelled with Kairai, worst case: The guy kills him in his sleep. Best case: The vision is fulfilled and he lives happily.

"… Any specific reason's why I should go?"

"Reason 1: I'm not going to kill you in your sleep, despite the fact I'm sharpening Tsukihi-chan. Reason 2: Jinchuuriki's can only truly be understood by their fellow sacrifices… No matter how much an ordinary person tries, they can never understand what its like to be us. 'Nuff said." Listed off the eccentric Shinobi, counting on his fingers for good measure, "… Fine… I'll come with you." Naruto muttered, giving in.

"Excellent!" he cried cheerfully. "Let us fully introduce ourselves. I'll go first. My Name is Zetsumei Kairai as you already know; I like puppetry, Tsukihi-chan, and everything sharp and pointy! I dislike people who don't smile enough and stuck-up arrogant people who believe any expression other than arrogance is utterly beneath them. My hobbies include; collecting sharp and pointy things, making puppets, creating poisons to go with my sharp and pointy collection and sewing… Now you, Whiskers!" he said cheerfully, pointing at 'Whiskers' who glared at him, darkly.

"My name is **Uzumaki Naruto **and _**not**_** Whiskers**. I like ramen, training and learning new jutsu's. I dislike Sasuke-teme… After all, he _did_ shove a Chidori through my chest. My hobbies include training and gardening." Kairai's eyes crinkled upwards into an expression eerily reminiscent of Kakashi. "Excellent! To fully inaugurate you into my… soon to be gang, you must be, a NUKE-NIN! So slash your hit-aite with Tsukihi-chan here and voila! Welcome to the… I don't know what to call ourselves." He tossed the silvery blade to Naruto, who used it to, reluctantly, slash his hit-aite.

"Welcome to the ranks! Current population: US!" he cried. Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Now… Let us... Recruit the others!" He paused. "… To KUMO!" he cried, pointing in the rough direction.

xXx In Konoha xXx

"… You are dismissed Kakashi." Tsunade said, reaching for her sake. "Shizune, Organize some ANBU squads. Their orders are to search for Naruto, and if found, to retrieve him _alive_."

"Hai, Tsunade-sama." Shouted Shizune, running off to perform the task Tsunade had given her.

xXx Back with the duo xXx

"How much further…?"

"About 2 more weeks of travelling…"  
"Aw man…"

"If you're that bored you might as well learn to control the Kyuubi's chakra."

Naruto scrunched up his face. "Stupid furball…"

"Who, Me or him…?"

"Him…"

"Just hammer out some sort of agreement, or peaceful terms. It's what I did…" Naruto blinked at him, surprised. "What did you give him in return?"

"I'll tell you when you're older." Naruto face faulted.

"Why the hell do we have to look for the Kyuubi brat anyway?"

"What are you? An idiot…? I've got nothing against the brat, but if the power of Kyuubi falls into, say, Iwa's hands, then we're screwed. Period…"

"Pfft. Iwa would kill him on sight; he does, after all, have a startling resemblance to the Yondaime."

"Just try to regulate it, prevent it from doing too much harm to your body. The more your body adapts to it, the more you can control without killing yourself." He said cheerfully, demonstrating by pouring a large amount of the Gobi's chakra into his palm, compressing it into a small ball. He pushed said ball into a tree. One shower of splinters later, Naruto attempted to do the same. He failed miserably. "Keep trying…"

"… Hey… Is that him?"

"… Your right… That's him… Who's he travelling with?"

"S-Rank Criminal, Zetsumei Kairai, Gobi Jinchuuriki. He's wanted for killing a squad of Jounin, annihilating one of Tsuchi no Kuni's Samurai clans, attempting to assassinate the Tsuchikage and the assassination of the Daimyo of Tsuchi no Kuni. He's also a pretty good tailor." The other's sweat-dropped at the last bit of information, contemplating the relativity of that single piece of information.

"How much further now…?"

"We'll stop at a village up ahead…" Kairai's usual smile was on his face. Naruto had, with time, gotten used to its eeriness. "And now, for our next lesson; we have some volunteers!" He declared cheerfully. Naruto blinked.

"Volunteers…?"

"That's right, Volunteers! Consider this a Pop Quiz on Battle Situations."

"Damn! He knows we're here. Nothing for it but to attack…"

A team of four ANBU burst through the trees, as Kairai let Tsukihi slip into his hand. An ANBU drew his katana and attempted to decapitate the smiling nuke-nin, but the small silvery knife blocked the swing, slicing through the blade itself. "Oh dear… Don't make Katana's like they used to…" The ANBU, Hawk, growled, and got into the Jyuuken Stance. "Shi ne!" shouted the now enraged ANBU, charging at the smiling psychopath.

Naruto felt hands grab him and drag him away. Kairai's smile widened just a little bit. "Oh my, -san" He appeared in front of the ANBU in a blur of speed. "I can't let you do that…" The Bear masked ANBU made no noise, other than the whoosh of his katana. Bear froze as he felt the sudden pain of 7, five of which were fatal, strikes. He felt blood well up into his mouth, as his knee's buckled. "You bastard!" screamed another, charging at him. Kairai nudged Naruto, somewhat subtly signalling it was his turn.

Naruto made a Kage Bunshin, and together they formed a Rasengan. "**RASENGAN!**" shouted the Blonde-haired nuke-nin, shoving the swirling ball of energy into the ANBU's chest; Said ANBU was sent toppling backwards, the Rasengan having messed with his internal organs. Naruto froze as the ANBU vomited up blood, the Rasengan having hit his heart. An oddly comforting hand was placed on his shoulder; Naruto was too stunned to realize that it was dripping with blood.

"And that is all we found, Tsunade-sama." Tsunade shook her head. One of the bodies had a Rasengan wound. '_Naruto…_' "Dismissed…"

Naruto sat there, silent. "Aren't you going to eat?" No answer. "I thought you were a Shinobi. Haven't you ever killed someone before?" Naruto remained silent.

"I'll take that as a no…"

xXx In Konoha xXx

"The demon should be killed for its treachery!" screamed a Council member. Tsunade felt like smashing his head in. "SILENCE! We're here to discuss the ranking he should be classed with, not the action's we'll take against him. That will have to wait for later."

"With all due respect Tsunade-sama, he should be at least High A-rank due to his status as the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki, as he does have its power at his disposal." Suggested one Aburame Shibi, "I have nothing against Uzumaki-san but if he manages to control even a portion of Kyuubi's power, he will be quite a dangerous opponent." Tsunade couldn't fault him there, but she _did_ have an idea. "Very well… as of now, Uzumaki Naruto is an _SS-Class_ nuke-nin." The Council gaped at her,

"_SS-Class_…? Aren't you giving the boy a little too much credit?" Hiashi said in his calm and collected voice. "As Shibi said, the power of the Kyuubi is limitless. If he masters control over it, he would be invincible. As it stands, he would still be a force to be reckoned with, perhaps on par with the Yondaime. Our next order of discussion will be the identity of his companion… Was there any sightings or information at all?"

xXx Somewhere near Kumogakure xXx

"Oi, are we there yet?"

"As a matter of fact… Yes. There it is… Kumogakure no Sato… Step 1: Break in…"

xXx Konoha xXx

"There was none, although our ninken _did _catch the scent of him. There was a strip of cloth we believe belonged to his companion, and we're keeping it for tracking purposes. It matches with Hatake's information of the Valley of the End battle." Tsunade groaned.

"Now all we need to do is find any and all nuke-nin that resembles or might have the scent of a wolf…"

xXx Kumo xXx

"Well… That was easy."

"To think, if the Raikage had paid them more, they might not have accepted our bribe…"

"Thinking about what-ifs gives me a headache…"

"We need to get you some new clothes. Your orange jumpsuit inspires suicidal thoughts in even the bravest of fashion-designers…" Naruto gave him a glare. "What…? It's true and you know it!" Naruto rolled his eyes. "The task at hand…?"

"Fine, fine… While we're at it, we'll get you clothes that don't make people want to gouge out their eyes… Unless that's your battle plan…." Naruto shook his head, staring at him in exasperation. "And people thought I was annoying…"

"You probably were; you're just too annoyed to be annoying at the moment." If looks could kill, Kairai would be six-feet under right now; maybe a bit deeper.

Kairai ignored the look of utter hatred and promptly dragged Naruto away to a clothes store.

"My friend here is lacking in the Fashion-sense department… Do you mind outfitting him with something that doesn't scream 'Kill me!'?" Kairai asked; his tone uncharacteristically polite. The tailor nodded, "Anything you hand in mind…?" Kairai shrugged. "Just one thing… Put the kanji for 'Kyuubi' on his back, and if you can, a single nine-tailed fox somewhere. That's all I ask… Whiskers here will probably want it in orange but try to keep it from being too much." He said, ruffling the younger teen's hair, earning him a mild glare. "Anything for yourself…?"

"Now that you mention it, just get me a black anorak like this one, only with the kanji for 'Gobi' on the back, and a five-tailed wolf under it." The woman nodded, and immediately began taking measurements.

"They'll be ready in about, 3 days." Kairai nodded and dragged Naruto off in search of a hotel.

Plopping himself down on a bed, Kairai looked over at Naruto. "Well… For the next Kami-knows-how-much time, we'll look for the local Jinchuuriki." Naruto nodded.

"You sure there's one here…?"

"Can't you sense and/or smell it…?" Naruto looked at him as if he was crazy.

"I found you by smelling the scent of your blood. Its scent identified you as the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki, and it was easy to find because of its overpowering stench. This place smells of cat. And we're not talking the local alley-cat that likes to scratch people's faces off. We're talking the Nibi no Nekomata."

Naruto paused. "So you can smell him…? Like an Inuzuka…?"

"Inuzuka… Dog clan right…? Yeah I can smell him. It's a pretty simple technique. I channel the Gobi's chakra to my nose, eyes and ears for a substantial boost in those senses."

Naruto's curiosity was piqued. "Do you think it would work with the furball's chakra…?" Kairai face deadpanned.

"… Do I really need to answer that…?"

Naruto gave him another mild glare, and followed the Gobi Jinchuuriki was he traversed the town, sniffing at odd intervals and at times, cursing.

He didn't know why, but he had a feeling that this was going to be a looong day.


	2. Duck and Cover: Rising Dawn

A\N: Sorry for the late update; laziness is in my nature, but I try my best to combat it. So far, it's an uphill battle .

Still, hope you enjoy the chapter. Much apologies for the lateness, again.

* * *

Yugito was having a bad day.

Yugito was having a bad day. The S-Rank suicidal mission she completed (Regrettably, still alive) only served to further infuriate the Council. The Raikage, however, was absolutely giddy with excitement at the 'successful project'.

She was a not-so ordinary human being for Kami's sake! Not some ultra-secret weapon they were planning to unleash on the Leaf (Which they were…)! Kami, she hated it all. She would've killed them but the Raikage held her family in an iron grip. Her family hated her, but she felt it was her duty, as a family member (Even if her parents continually disowned her), to protect them.

She was snapped out of her mental tirade, when she heard something, rather, _someone_, sniffing near her feet. A silver-haired individual was busy sniffing the ground, like some sort of ninken. "Uh… Kairai…?" A short, kinda scrawny looking blonde kid in an orange jumpsuit spoke up, attempting to catch the newly-named Kairai's attention. "Not now… Can't you see I'm busy…?"

The blonde kid coughed. "Uh… Look up…" Kairai muttered something incoherent and looked up. "Fine… this bet-… Uh, Hi…?" Kairai realized belatedly, that from his vantage point, he could see straight up her dress. Normally, any ordinary man would be overjoyed at the opportunity. But this was no doubt a Kunoichi, thus tripling the severity of the consequences.

"… I'm dead aren't I…?" Yugito nodded a dark look on her face. "Well… My last words are… Nice legs." Said leg promptly booted him away in a manner similar to one gambling-addict of a Sannin.

The blonde kid scratched the back of his head sheepishly, "Uh… I should probably being go after him…" Yugito watched as he turned tail and bolted after Kairai.

After an apology ('_I wouldn't have looked up if he didn't tell me to…_') the trio sat down for some tea and subterfuge.

"And that's why we want you to join us…"

"… No."

"Why not…?"

"One: You're a pervert"

"I RESENT THAT!"

"Two: You're crazy"

"Pfft…"

"Three: I'm the only thing supporting my family"

"Coincidentally, you're existence is probably why they can't support themselves." Yugito glared at him.

Kairai sighed. This probably wasn't going to be easy. "Look… You're family will be fine. Just… send them some money every now and then. Or they could move. They'd be better off that way."

"I'm not leaving." Kairai turned to Plan B. Childishness.

"Ah, come on!"

"No."

"I'll be your friend!"

"No."

"Pleaseee…?"

"No!"

"Oh fine… Let's go Naruto…"

Naruto squinted as he usually did when he was thinking about something. "You're just gonna let her go?"

"Naruto… She's a woman."

"So…?"

"… You don't know much about women, do you?"  
"…?"

"She'll kick me in the balls, Naruto."

"…"

"Yes that's right. I said it. Anyway, we'll stick around in Kumo for a few days at a hotel or something. And then we'll probably drug her and drag her along anyway… Don't look at me like that."

The duo spent the day seeing the sights, which, to be honest, weren't really that great.

"Pfft… Is this all this place has to offer in terms of tourism…?" Kairai muttered, gazing up at the perpetually cloudy sky.

They had been to a few art galleries, a museum, cafes, and whole assortment of other places. They were all really quite boring.

Somewhere, in the mountain region near Kumo, a strange pair of travellers was climbing up a small trail. "Are we there yet…?"

"For the last time, shut up Hidan!"

"Fuck you stitchface."

"Ah go slit your wrists, emo."

"Do Jashin a favour, and act your age and die!" The two glared at each other heatedly, before both turned away and kept walking. They had fought before… Kakuzu had a fresh new heart after that; Hidan wouldn't stop swearing for months.

"So… who are we going after?"  
"Nii Yugito; Nibi Jinchuuriki…"

"…"

"… Try not to get burnt; otherwise you'll stink for days."

"Fuck you."

After another half hour of walking, and another hour of high speed running, the pair arrived at Kumo. "Well, what the fuck now?"

"… I think I found her chakra signature."

"Fuck yeah!"

Kairai swirled the tea in his cup idly as Naruto gazed out the window, watching the citizens' mill about in their routine daily life. Sighing, Kairai raised the bitter drink to his lips. "… So… we going to talk to her…?"  
"She's probably past the conversational stage. Drugging her probably won't work; we may have to resort to using force."  
"Force…? Your goal was uniting them, but you're a jinchuuriki as well! Shouldn't you understand her pain?" Kairai peered at him calmly over the rim of his cup.

"We are shinobi; furthermore, we are jinchuuriki. In order to survive, and strive past our hardship, we must leave more in our wake." He said seriously, his pale mauve eyes piercing through Naruto.

"Are you sure you found her fucking signature?!"

"Shut up and do as I say, Hidan. She's near."

"I still don't agree with your plan."

"Perhaps she will come peacefully. But that is only an idealistic view."

"She should just be around that corner…"

"That's what you fucking said the last 5 times!"

"Are you sure you've got her scent…?"

"… She knows she's being followed…"

"…There you are you stupid bitch…" Yugito glared at Hidan. It appeared her evasive manoeuvring had failed to evade her trailers. Kakuzu sighed irritably. "Lets get this over and done with…"

"Look, Yugi… Ah crap…" Naruto found it amazing that Kairai could seamlessly transit from dead serious, to happy-go-lucky.

"… Well… Isn't this a pleasant surprise Hidan?"

Hidan grinned maliciously. "Yup… Three-in-one…"

Kairai's eyes darted around the small alleyway they had entered. Escape routes were limited… Calling forth the Gobi's innate ability to control the elements, Kairai kicked the ground with his toe causing large spikes of earth to erupt. Kakuzu dodged effortlessly, whilst Hidan was speared like a cursing fish.

'_One down…_' he thought whilst he bolted forward, whilst simultaneously grabbing Naruto via the collar. Once he was close enough, Kairai grabbed Yugito by the waist and started running away whilst Hidan shouted words that would make sailor's blush.

Yugito felt her face turn red with rage and mild embarrassment. "PUT ME DOWN YOU PERVERT!"

"Hey! I resent that."

"PUT ME DOWN!"

"Don't shout in my ear will ya…?"

"Uh… Why don't you just go onto the rooftops…?" Kairai skidded to the halt.

"Oh yeah… Forgot we could do that…" He resumed running, only this time on the unfortunate rooftops of the people of Kumo

Naruto froze when he saw Hidan chasing after them. Didn't Kairai kill him…?

"Uh… Kairai… duck." Looking back briefly, Kairai immediately followed Naruto's advice as the triple-bladed scythe hurled overhead.

"What the fuck! Why is he still alive?!" Yugito huffed, and crossed her arms, content to sulk in her new position as cargo. "How the hell am I supposed to know…?"

Kairai turned left as Kakuzu appeared in front of them. "Hey! Kitty! Throw something at them!"

"Why can't you?"

"Well, excuse me for not having 3 arms!" Yugito grumbled to herself and hurled some kunai at Hidan's face, getting him in the eye. "YOU FUCKING WHORE!"

"… Nice shot…"

Kairai took a right to avoid a swarm of needles. "Any ideas…?" Both Naruto and Yugito remained silent. Kairai cursed silently.

"You're the Gobi Jinchuuriki aren't you…? Try using some fire."

"You're the Nibi Jinchuuriki. Why can't you do it?"

"Why don't both of you do it?"

"… Nobody likes a smart ass Naruto…"

Yugito formed a seal as she readied the youkai. "Uh… I hate to say this but controlling fire isn't something I'm good at…" Kairai muttered as he formed the hand-seal.

"Just do it."

"…" Kairai inhaled deeply. It's not so much as controlling, but aiming.

The pair of jinchuuriki exhaled, breathing out a long stream of fire at Hidan; Yugito's being much stronger than Kairai's. Kakuzu swore silently. Hidan stunk badly when he was burnt, and listening to him curse 24/7 was not something on his to-do list.

"Now was that so hard…?"

"… You're hairs on fire Naruto."

"AHHH, YOU CRAZY BASTARD!" Before Naruto could shout anymore, Kairai hit a pressure point on his neck, knocking him out.

"Was that really necessary?"

"Not really… but it's much better this way…"

"… Shouldn't you put the fire out?"

"… Oh dear…"

Kairai didn't know when the duo stopped the chase, but he had an inkling it might have been after the burning. After all, Mr. I-don't-follow-the-rules-of-life didn't look like he was in any condition to continue the chase.

Once Naruto awoke, he let out a stream of curses he had picked up from Hidan, as he realized what happened to his hair. "Here… You can wear this bandanna to cover it until it re-grows." Naruto blinked at the black cloth in Kairai's hand.

"Uh… thanks…"

"… So… are you going to help us now…?"

"… Yes. But this is only out of necessity, _not_ because I like you two in any way."

"… Necessity is the driving force behind this plan, Yugito."

"… Now what do we do?"

"Now we… make money!"

"… Make money…?"

"Yeah… do stuff. For cash… like freelance missions or something..."

"… Well, at least you have some initiative…"

The trio sat around an old tree stump, using it as a makeshift table. "Right… any ideas…?"

"…"

"…"

"How about… we rob a bank or something…?"

"Rob a bank…? Isn't that illegal?"

"Well, duh."

"Yeah, but we'll be stealing…" Both Yugito and Kairai simultaneously raised an eyebrow at him. "That's a problem… why?"

"You're a shinobi. Robbing a bank should be no problem."

Naruto hung his head. He didn't like that fact, but it was true.

"Right… Now let's get down to business."

After extensive planning, something Naruto had no idea Kairai was capable of, the trio was ready to rob the local bank.

Kairai formed a handseal, and muttered something under his breath. "10 minutes. That's all I can hold it for; it should be strong enough to incapacitate any shinobi that we may unfortunately encounter."

"Did you really have to use such a high-level one?"

"If there happens to be shinobi in there, then things could get ugly. Truthfully, that chance is very low, but that doesn't stop it from happening once too many…"

Yugito raised an eyebrow at him. "You've done this kind of thing before…?" That would explain his excellent plan.

"… A little past experience never hurts." Both blondes sweatdropped in synchronization at his words; '_This guy's a jinchuuriki…?_'

Yugito entered carefully. Everyone stood around in a hypnotic-like trance. Naruto followed her carefully, making sure not to touch anyone. Yugito calmly climbed over the desk and melted the safe's hinges. She grabbed the stereotypical burlap sacks, and handed some to Naruto. "Right… Let's get out of here."

"How much time do we have?"  
"3 minutes…"

Bolting out of the door way, Yugito grabbed Kairai by the collar on the way out. "Whatthe…"

"Let's get out of here before they realize what the hell just happened."

Kairai barely managed to form another seal, cloaking them under another genjutsu.

"Crazy bitch…"

"Just trying to keep up with you…" Kairai muttered something else under his breath, but was interrupted when Yugito dashed around a corner. "You know, I'd prefer it if you let me down."

"You can focus on the genjutsu more this way…"

"This is payback isn't it…?"

"Uh guys, I think we're safe now…"

Yugito set Kairai down (Read: hurled at a tree) and dropped her sacks, Naruto following suit. Untying the strings, she let her eyes run over the piles of cash. "About 10,000 ryo…"

"Enough to last us for about 6 weeks…"

"I still don't agree with this…"

"Yeah, well this is 2v1. Majority wins, whiskers."

"Bastard…" Yugito sighed. '_I can't believe I actually agreed to join them…_'

Pein glared at the images of Kakuzu and Hidan. "…You failed?"

"I was forced to remain after Hidan was half-incinerated." Hidan, who was still smoking, was unable to reply without risking further injury. "… Zetsu, I want you to scout the locations of the other jinchuuriki. The other three will be dealt with later." The images of Akatsuki faded.

* * *

Chapter 2 is now over, and I'm working on Chapter 3. Hopefully, it will be a much more recent release. Fingers crossed...


	3. Bad Hand: New Direction

A/N: A little shorter than usual, and a little late. Unfortunately, try as hard as I may, I am a chronic procrastinator. I try to change my ways... but I'm too lazy.

Ah well. The chapter's here, so review and tell me what you think.

* * *

Pale purple eyes narrowed warily, as their owners hand blurred. One wrong move could be disastrous… He felt his brow sweat with nervousness, unwilling to wipe away the perspiration for fear of failure.

"Hey Kairai…?" Swish, thud!

"DAMMIT!" That… hurt. Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly as Kairai clutched his bleeding finger. "… Uh… heh… hah… oh boy…"

"Naruto… We've been through this a hundred times… DON'T INTERRUPT ME WHEN I'M PLAYING PIN-FINGERS!"

"Uh… I was just going to ask… what happened to all our money…?" Kairai didn't answer, as he was preoccupied with swearing furiously. Yugito blinked. Naruto had a point. What had happened to their money…?

"Naruto is right… where is our money…?" Kairai froze. "Your sudden halt in movement is _very_ reassuring." Yugito drawled.

"Ahehehe… hehe… heheh…" Kairai's nervous laugh did nothing to help his case.

"You lost it didn't you…"

"What? I would ne… yes."

"…"

"How on earth… did you waste all that…?"

"… I… went gambling." SMASH!

"YOU GAMBLED 10 THOUSAND RYO?!" roared Yugito.

"I HAD FIVE ACES, HOW COULD I HAVE LOST?!" Kairai protested

"… But there are only four aces…?" Naruto said in a confused manner.

"Naruto, that's irrelevant."

"WELL, I DON'T KNOW! YOU FOUND A WAY!" Yugito was fuming at this point. "YEAH, WELL… WELL, GO COUGH UP A HAIRBALL!" Yugito slammed her fist into Kairai's face.

Yugito and Kairai began a small fight, involving kicking, punching, scratching, and minor childish name-calling. Naruto sighed. Sometimes… he felt like the only adult.

"YOU'RE JUST PISSED YOU HAVEN'T HAD YOUR MILK!" Silence reigned after Kairai's remark. "Say… that… again…" ground out Yugito, the eminent sound of teeth grinding coming from her mouth. "Gladly! You. Haven't. Had. Your. MILK!" Yugito slammed her foot into his face, before proceeding to forcefully grind her foot into his face.

Naruto shook his head in something akin to shame. "Uh… Yugito… you might want to _not_ kill him…" he said tentatively, trying his best not to incur her wrath. She turned eyes filled with rage onto him with a look that inspired death in all things living. "Um… on second thoughts continue… I'll be over… behind that expanse of bush and trees… at a safe distance…" finishing that, he turned tail, and ran as fast as he could, to hide behind anything, anything at all, as long as it would shield him from her eyes.

"You know, from this position, it is quite easy to see up your skirt… may I suggest combat pants?" Kairai managed to get out in between Yugito's grinding, but his remarks served only to worsen his situation. Yugito, glaring at him furiously, reared her foot back for a kick. "No offense kitty, but this is mostly your fault. _You_ were the one who started grinding my head into the ground, giving me a clear vie- AH, BY THE-" Yugito slammed her foot into Kairai's groin, causing the jinchuuriki to writhe on the ground utterings words that would make many a sailor blush.

After calming herself down, Yugito took bittersweet revenge in watching him writhe in pain. Naruto took a few cautious steps towards the camp. Reassured by the lack of violence he slumped onto a log. "Well… we have no money… and next to no food…"

Kairai clutched at a tree to use as a brace to get up. "Nonsense… food isn't a problem…" He spat out some blood, grimacing, "Steel toed boots…?" he muttered painfully. "No… Steel frames."

"Ah…"

Naruto screwed up his face. "What do you mean food isn't a problem…?" Kairai rolled his eyes. "Haven't you covered survival in that puny academy of yours? Guess there's no substitute for experience. We can hunt for food."

"You and Yugito can go get something to eat. I would, but thanks to kitty here, I can't do much. Naruto, learn as much as possible from this. Yugito, make sure to move slowly enough so he can observe without wondering what just happened."

The pair nodded, albeit Yugito did so grudgingly, before dashing into the woods. Kairai smiled lightly, wiping some blood from his face. She had a good kick. But he was relatively fine. Feigning death was a skill few shinobi truly mastered; the most often mistake was to jump straight to 'death' level where they should be starting off learning how to feign pain and suffering. Kairai thought he was pretty good at it.

He made a mental note to teach Naruto the skill.

Yugito focused her sights on a boar, no more than a few feet away. "Using jutsu to hunt can be a double edged sword… Futon, some Doton, and Suiton work well, whereas Raiton and Katon can often damage the meat by burning it. More often than not, you're better off just using shuriken and kunai or ninja wire." She demonstrated it's efficiency by hitting it square in the forehead.

"Now you try…" She said, surprisingly calm as she gestured to another boar that had completely ignored its brethren's death. Naruto nodded seriously, and threw a kunai as she had instructed. It was off-mark, but managed to dig its way into the animal's side.

It gave a distraught wail as it collapsed due to a punctured lung. Yugito frowned. "We'll have to work on your accuracy… but I do believe we have dinner…"

The duo returned to find Kairai seemingly unharmed. Yugito raised an eyebrow. "Um… You see… I uh… Oh look! We have dinner!" He said, giving a painfully obvious fake smile.

Yugito shook her head, and Naruto screwed up his face. Kairai used a small Katon jutsu to light a fire. "Shouldn't we have made a smokeless one…?"

"And avoid whom? In any case, we can hide our hit-aite and make ourselves look like innocent travellers. If shinobi stumbled across us with a smokeless fire, they'll attack us. Or question us. Then attack us." Yugito rolled her eyes at his answer.

"You think it won't happen to you, and then BAM! It happens to you!" He said, taking on an almost hysterical tone. Naruto smiled lightly. It was nice to see he was taking the whole thing lightly. Someone had to balance the seriousness in the air.

Kairai poked the roasting boar with a stick and assumed the role of party leader. "We break camp tomorrow dawn. Don't bother covering the tracks; if Shinobi pass by, they'll assume it was a campsite for ordinary travellers. No matter how good you think you are at something, there's someone better than you; we're better off not taking that chance."

Naruto was surprised. The academy had always gone on about how important it was to cover your tracks but he had a point. If they covered their tracks, in the event someone skilled enough to notice, they were found out. If they didn't bother, then they'd assume ordinary travellers.

"Naruto, I'll resume training you tomorrow. We'll start with some espionage exercises, and a handy technique… feigning death." Naruto frowned. Feigning Death? How lame. "Why can't you teach me a jutsu?" he said, screwing up his face.

"Simple. In a life or death situation, you're opponent stabs you in the chest area. What's going to save you? Feigning death, or a fancy jutsu you probably won't be able to perform in time?"

Yugito frowned. "Couldn't they just check your pulse?" Kairai nodded.

"And when they do, strike fast and hard… they'll probably bend over, giving you a clear path to the neck."

"But for now… I do believe dinner is served…" He said grinning hungrily, as his eyes passed over the now cooked meat. Using a kunai, he sliced it into chunks and handed each of them a piece. Naruto took a tentative bite out of the meat, before closing his eyes. He missed good old cooked food… not too mention ration bars were tasteless.

The silence was half-awkward, half-stifling. Seems family dinner was out of the question. Yugito was calm, eating her portion in absolute silence. Kairai wasn't much different. The occasional chewing sounds, but otherwise completely silent.

Guess he should be accustomed to it. He ate alone for the most part so silence should be normal for him. But there were the times he ate with Iruka, and even on occasion team lunch.

With dinner finally over, the three settled into a far more comfortable silence. Naruto lay back on the ground, letting his head rest on a log. Kairai was sharpening that silvery knife of his, and Yugito was checking her kunai and shuriken.

On one hand, there was Yugito… the ever-practical one… She was a model shinobi, he guessed. Always precise and always textbook-perfect… on the other hand, was Kairai… the odd one. Naruto still didn't fully understand him, and the motivation behind each of his moves. Then there was the transition back in Kumo. He had shown, quite clearly, that he was capable of being as emotionless and as practical as Yugito was.

He pushed the thoughts to the back of his head; they were his friends, if not his family. Kairai was talking to Yugito about something to do with knife combat styles.

"Personally, I like to focus on sleight of hand techniques, occasionally mixing in some genjutsu to distract them." Yugito nodded in an almost sage-like manner.

"That's all well and good, but nothing can possibly surpass pure efficiency. Just kill them quickly, no fancy tricks to it."

"Yes, but that's no fun at all." Yugito rolled her eyes at his answer. Naruto smiled again. Yes… they were his family.

xXx Back in Konoha xXx

Tsunade pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "Send for Team Gai… and Sakura… Tell them I have a mission for them." Shizune nodded and rushed out the door. '_Naruto… why are you doing this…?_' She thought to herself despondently, as she began to write a mission scroll.

xXx At the Jinchuuriki Camp xXx

Kairai was outlying the next step for their plans. "Rumour has it that there is a Jinchuuriki in Kiri and Taki, and there is much more concrete information suggesting a Jinchuuriki in Suna. I suggest we move onto Suna as the information is much more reliable."

Naruto nodded. "I know the Jinchuuriki there. His name is Sabaku no Gaara."

Kairai grinned wolfishly. "Excellent… I assume your relationship is a friendly one?" His grin extended when Naruto nodded to affirm his assumption. "Splendid. We move out for Suna at dawn."

xXx Hokage's Office xXx

"Team Gai and Sakura… you are assigned an A-Class mission. You are to retrieve the rogue genin… Uzumaki Naruto. Intelligence suggests he is travelling with 2 other people; at least Jounin-level, so expect resistance… current location is unknown. Sightings were reported in Kumo, and surveillance suggests they are heading towards Suna." She turned her chair around, signalling that the conversation was now over.

Gai saluted, as did Lee. The team left the room with as much dignity as Lee and Gai could possibly have.


	4. Unemployed: Will kill for cash

A/N: Well, to be honest I forgot how long this took me. So, I apologise if it was later than usual. Otherwise, on with the chapter.

* * *

Kairai took a step back to admire his handiwork. It had taken three painstaking years, but he had finished making it; a small puppet, no larger than his forearm. It was modelled in the likeness of a chibi, anthropomorphic Gobi no Hokou. As an extra touch, he added a down-sized sleeveless forest green shirt, and a pair of miniature combat pants, which were humorously 'adorable'.

All in all, 'Project: Freedom' had taken him six years to make. The first three years were dedicated to extensive research on sealing, occult, and generally anything that might help. The last three were spent making the chosen vessel; a puppet.

Seven years ago, he made a deal with his demon; in exchange for limited freedom, with a fraction of his power naturally, the Gobi would grant him easier access to his power, and would do something helpful when he was free. He had long since decided anything so much as resembling the Gobi in a less than conspicuous manner was out of the question; that had led him, to making this puppet.

The seals were engraved, checked at least 10 times, and the final touches had been laid. '_Ready…?'_ he said mentally, placing his hands over the puppet.

'_**I was ready 7 years ago, damn it! Get me out of here already!**__'_ Kairai snickered lightly; half-heartedly musing whether he should made the deal tougher or humiliating… or both. "**Akuma Fuujin:** **Onidoru! KAI!**" he shouted. He was mildly thankful that both Yugito and Naruto were looking for work in the nearby town; he said he was off to go hunting some and more, and probably would for consistency (and to evade a beating).

The puppet was immobile for a few moments, the only sign of life the glinting amethyst eyes that seemed to possess a new… glint. Slowly, the complicated systems in the hands caused fingers to flex, then the arms and legs, and slowly, the puppet rose. "The wind, the air!" it cried, placing a hand on its face in disbelief. "My voice…?" Kairai laughed.

"Part of the whole demonic voice is attributed to your chakra; less chakra, less demonic." The puppets face twisted into something akin to a snarl.

"Be glad I spent so much time giving you a face capable of limited expression; and fingers. Oh yes, those were a bitch."

The Gobi rose to a full stand, letting the wind caress its body for the first time in over 15 years. "So, what do I have to do?"

"Remain both silent and still, and I'll carry you around for a bit. Hey, we might even form a ventriloquism duo!"

"Only if I get to have Tourette's syndrome..."

A short walk later and Kairai rejoined the group. "Anything…?"

"No… and did you find dinner…?" Naruto shook his head.

"About that… it seems that all the Woodland creatures were having a dinner party somewhere and _we_ _weren't invited_! I mean, honestly, how rude!"

"… You didn't bother, did you…?" Yugito said appraisingly, eying his clean clothes.

"You give me too little credit, Yugito-chan." Anime tears streamed down his face, his voice filled with mock hurt. "Fine… I'm going to the bar to see if there are any black market jobs… Naruto, you go to the Sheriff's office and whoever runs this town and ask if they have anything that needs doing; Kairai, you go off and… generally look for odd jobs. We'll rendezvous at the local inn." Kairai gave a mock salute, straightening his back and clicking his heels together. "Yes, ma'am!" he barked seriously, before sprinting off in a random direction. Yugito shook her head and left in the direction of the bar, leaving Naruto to wonder who actually ran the town and where he would find them.

Yugito approached the barkeep. "My… companions and I are looking for… odd jobs. Could you point us in the right direction?" The barkeep wordlessly moved off and unlocked a door, gesturing for her to follow.

Naruto managed to make his way, with some guidance, to the City Hall. There was a small noticeboard on the wall, and, to his fortune, there was a variety of criminal warrants. Leaping for joy, he ripped off some of the more expensive ones and ran off to the rendezvous point.

Kairai hadn't found anything of particular note, which was to be expected when one wandered around aimlessly. He half-heartedly mused wearing a sign that said 'Will kill for money' but dismissed it. "It would certainly attract some attention." The Gobi's voice jolted him out of his musings. "Ah! Don't do that…"

"Then don't forget I'm here…"

Yugito left the bar, a package in her hand. Some guy, she didn't know who and didn't care, wanted her to deliver a package of obvious dubiousness, to a bar a couple of towns over; they would receive payment upon the delivery. It was obviously smuggling, but that didn't matter. Money was money.

"Right, I sure as hell didn't find anything. What did you guys find…?" Kairai said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "I found some warrants!" Naruto said gleefully showing them the papers. "Great! Now we just have to find these guys."

"I agreed to… deliver a package to a bar a couple towns over." Yugito mentioned offhandedly. "That's always nice; on the way we'll pick up any information we can about our targets. Right now, to the bar! For information gathering…"

Having gathered what information they could; "_Yeah I saw that guy… he was robbed some trader by Kazehoshi… Directions…? Ah… that way for a day or two I suppose…_", the trio set off in the direction of the town they had to deliver the package to and possibly collect more information, and if they were really lucky, run into a bandit or two, or even better, their targets.

After a day or two of travel, they found themselves in front of a checkpoint; obviously there to keep out contraband goods, and possibly monitor who was going in and out. "Naruto, form a Kage Bunshin, give the bunshin the package and henge it into a bird or something." Naruto frowned.

"Why would I do that?" Kairai deadpanned.

"You naïve innocent little boy… we're smuggling. For your own benefit, we are going to avoid bloodshed."

"Oh… okay then…" Naruto did as he was asked, and sent the newly transformed swallow over the small wall built around the town.

The trio strolled upwards calmly, and presented hastily forged papers. "Sir, are you sure these are authentic?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Why wouldn't they be…? Are you saying I'm a forger, a liar? My good man, how dare you!" Kairai huffed, waving his hands in an indignant manner.

"My wife and child are hungry and need a place to stay, and _you accuse us of falsifying documents_? Shame on you! Shame!" he cried dramatically, pointing at him, and generally making a fuss of things. The guard made calming gestures. "My apologies, I'm sorry! Go through Kazuki-san." Kairai huffed indignantly again, and motioned for his 'wife and child' to follow.

As soon as they were out of earshot and viewing distance Yugito turned to face him. "Wife and child…?" she said, raising an eyebrow. Kairai shrugged indifferently. "First thing that came to mind really…" Yugito shook her head. Naruto held out a hand as the 'swallow' descended down to perch on his finger. "Ah… I see our little homing pigeon has come back to us." With a small poof, the bird had become Naruto holding a package, and with a second poof, there was just a package.

Handing the package to the barman at their destination, Kairai took a moment to observe the occupants of the bar. Naturally, being a relatively shady area of town, there was relatively shady people. And mingling amongst them was traders.

"This place is a trader town…" he mused, rubbing his chin. "Naruto, change of plans… Screw the warrants…" Yugito followed his gaze.

"Banditry…? Isn't that little low…?" Kairai shrugged.

"Survival of the fittest… you are fit, aren't you…?" Yugito balked at his words.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Kairai raised his hands in a gesture of innocence.

"Nothing, nothing… nothing at all…"

Naruto frowned. "Banditry… as in robbing traders…?"

"We robbed a bank, Naruto. Robbing from traders is no different. We threaten them, and if they resist, draw a little blood, and hopefully, they give in."

"And if they don't…?" Naruto asked tentatively, nervous as to what the answer may be. "Then we draw more blood… until they give in. Or die of blood loss, what ever comes first."

Naruto sat in the middle of a cross roads, pondering just exactly how Kairai had convinced him to do this. His clothes were under a minor genjutsu to make them seem ragged and torn, and they had developed a fake story about him being attacked by a group of bandits. Hearing footsteps, he prepared the fake tears and focused on his lines. All of that faded as soon as he saw who was coming. "F-Fuzzy brows…?"

"Well… I don't know about you, but I think they know each other."

"We should probably intervene."

"Oh yes. Yes indeed." Kairai formed a couple of quick hand-seals and layered another genjutsu over the area to buy enough time for him and Yugito to dash to where Naruto was. When Neji and Gai dispelled the illusion, and subsequently aided Lee and Ten-Ten in dispelling it they were greeted with sight of both Kairai and Yugito standing on either side of Naruto.

"Naruto-kun, this is most un-youthful of you!" Gai cried, pointing at Naruto dramatically. Neji stood forward. "Hokage-sama has ordered us to retrieve you; whether you want to or not."

* * *

Well, there it is. Kairai's deal has been revealed, and Team Gai catches up with the trio, and last but not least, cliffhanger. I feel like writing a small interlude thingy now, because I can.

EDIT: I've noticed my chapters have been steadily decreasing in word count. I'll rectify that when I release the next one, but for now, I felt it was much easier to just cut it off right here and skip the beginning of the battle and begin somewhere mid-conflict next chapter.

EDIT #2: Whoops! Forgot to add the translation; **Akuma Fuujin:** **Onidoru **roughly means 'Demon Sealing: Demon Doll'


	5. Interlude: Defense

A/N: This is the interlude thingy I mentioned last chapter. Truthfully, I just put this thing together now. It's a mainly psychological thing, and is my attempt at deepening the characters and giving insight into their minds. Enjoy!

* * *

Naruto had never actually told anyone, but he was a masochist. When he was feeling particularly inhuman or demonic, he would take his kunai and stab it into his arm. Pain, blood… both made him feel calm and cool-headed. The sharp biting sting of metal digging into his flesh made him feel mildly human, and the red blood made him at ease with himself. He knew, deep down, that it was kind of strange, maybe even a sign of instability, but he didn't care.

The longer he could fool himself into naively believing he was still human, the better.

Kairai liked to smile. Smiles, laughter, general happiness made him relaxed. He liked to act like a goofball, and try to lighten everyone's mood whilst desperately trying to lighten his own. He played practical jokes, made wisecracks, and mocked people. He thought to himself… that maybe… just maybe, if he smiled hard enough that he'd be happy, and that if he laughed hard enough, he'd find it funny.

He wanted to be happy, to be humorous; to be human. He knew it would never actually happen, but a man could dream. He wasn't a man, nor was he ever one.

Yugito acted like the model shinobi. Emotionless, cold, and text-book perfect. She followed orders to the letter, and never disobeyed. She killed the innocent and guilty without discrimination, guarded the underground figures and model citizens alike. She was always wary of people, never fully trusting someone. She tried to forget the pain of being a jinchuuriki, and desperately tried to bury herself in the art of being a shinobi in a futile attempt to shield herself from the stigma.

Yugito could deflect a kunai without a scratch, but she couldn't deflect a barb without feeling the sting.

Gaara's sand shield had long since prevented human contact. It was hard to pretend to be human when it was impossible to even touch someone unless he was utterly exhausted. He had to rely on words to make him seem human. This was frustrating since Gaara was a man of few words, and they were usually emotionless words. He had learnt to imitate human emotion, and talk, speak and hold himself like a human. But when everyone was sleeping, he would attempt to cry himself to sleep. He was incapable of sleep, and crying was a human thing to do, so he tried to combine the two. He failed, miserably.

Smiling was awkward, crying was nigh impossible and expressing emotion through his voice was hard. Gaara refused to give up though; Naruto wouldn't, and Naruto seemed human. So, Gaara could to… couldn't he?

* * *

To be honest, I couldn't decide whether Naruto should be the fake smiler, or Kairai, but I find this way more suitable.


	6. Mugging for Dummies: Sealed Mistakes

A/N: Well, here it is; Chapter five. Enjoy!

* * *

Neji gritted his teeth, and grasped his burnt arm. Things were going… evenly. Until, being the all-seeing Hyuuga he was, he noticed an abnormal amount of tenketsu centred on the general area of the heart and lungs, probably strengthening his breathing or heart-rate. So, using this small snippet to his advantage, he decided to block off the tenketsu in that area. Oh boy, was that a stupid mistake.

Of course, he didn't realize that those tenketsu were there to because of his seal; coincidentally, they were the same tenketsu that controlled the flow of demon chakra.

Now, the **Akuma Fuujin:** **Onidoru **required a constant flow of demon chakra; with the source blocked off, it activated a failsafe. That was quite simply, the expulsion of all demon chakra in the puppet (and the soul of the demon as well) and subsequently shove it back into the containment seal, thus forcefully re-opening his tenketsu.

The thing about yanking things open is that they tend to open much wider than originally intended, in a very sudden manner. Now, if doors were living things, they would undoubtedly feel pain every time they were jerked apart. They weren't, but Kairai was.

The sudden onrush of the Gobi's chakra, coupled with the pain of re-opening the tenketsu shortly after closing them (they were still a little sore from that), was _very_ painful. It didn't help that a failsafe on the containment seal was linked to his heart; once the heart stopped beating for a small period of time, the seal collapsed inwards, killing the demon inside, shoving the rest of the chakra into his system, and possibly turning him into some sort of hybrid demon.

What hadn't been taken into account was just how long it would take before he could be resuscitated or whether his heart beat had merely slowed. The nature of his seal being linked to his heart, and the tenketsu by proxy caused a heart attack when they were ripped open. Chakra leaked into his heart at first, overfilling his central chakra vessels, but then the failsafe kicked in. Now _that_ was a bitch.

The failsafe hadn't managed to pour all of the chakra into his system; the rest had already been drained off into the containment seal, but about one tails worth had permanently entered his heart, and through the heart, his bloodstream.

Now, muscles relied on two types of energy; clean, pure human chakra supplied by the vessels, and carbohydrates and nutrients from the blood. Whilst his chakra system didn't have any more demon chakra than normal, his blood was simply _drenched_ in it. The pain and damage from using demon chakra was mostly caused by a lack of human chakra, the demon's having previously overtaken it.

But because the blood was soaked in the chakra, the human chakra could still reach the muscles. Not only that, but blood goes to every part of the body; the brain, the senses… the muscles.

One tails worth of chakra was permanently in his bloodstream, flowing through his muscles, his nose, ears, eyes, through his _brain_. Reaction rate increased, muscle power doubled, and sensory overload became a reality. There was a downside; blood flowed through everything, and because of his heightened sense of touch, pin pricks felt like kunai, kunai felt like spears, and spears would probably feel like cannonballs. Fortunately, demon chakra would be brought towards the skin with the platelets so healing rate was increased.

The first thing Kairai had been aware of was the smell of his own blood. The tenketsu were in the heart region, so the closing process had caused him to vomit up his precious life blood. The coppery scent filled his nose, as he could his _chakra_ rushing through his vessels. He could hear his opponent's heart beat, as his muscles twitched in anticipation. He could feel the wind on his face, moving delicate and slightly demonically charged hairs. It was… invigorating. "So… intoxicating…" Neji decided to finish this battle. His opponent was on his knees, almost as if he was bowing towards him; he had a clear shot towards to the cerebral cortex. It was over.

He didn't see him move; it was a blur. A hand had shot out, gripped his wrist in a vice-like manner and jerked him down on his knees, as if bringing him down to his level. He lifted his head slowly; '_His… his _eyes_…_' the whites of his eyes had a purple sheen to them. Grinning widely, Kairai's body tensed.

For Neji, it was as if the world had slowed, almost halting entirely. Kairai was standing up; he absentmindedly noticed that the jugular vein in his neck was glowing purple. He watched as his leg rose, in what could only by a rising kick to his chin. Watching, but unable to do anything about it, he closed his eyes as it connected, sending him hurtling backwards.

Snorting, he ran a hand through his hair. The power-induced euphoria had worn off, and it was back to good old ordinary, not-so-euphoric. He would have to question the Gobi later, but for now; it was ass-kicking time.

Tenten, in an admirable attempt to aid her teammate, hurled a volley of shuriken. Kairai twisted his body to an odd angle, avoiding the projectiles without so much as a scratch, although it the position was quite painful. '_Ugh, guess I overestimated my flexibility…_' Righting his body, and stroking his sore back, he cracked his neck a few times.

Gai, having physically conditioned himself far more than Kairai, flashed behind him, in an attempt to knock him out. Mauve eye's widening, the silver-haired jinchuuriki was caught flatfooted, and sent crashing forwards. '_Shit! So fast…_' The demonic chakra wasn't enough to help him keep up; it was too diluted. Gai's fist struck him hard a few more times, before his foot came rushing forward, only to be blocked by Yugito's hand. "I'm your opponent, or must I remind you?" she twirled a kunai dangerously, bringing it in a downward swipe.

Tenten threw another volley to distract Yugito, as Lee rushed forward to aid his sensei; not one to be left out, Naruto formed a Kage Bunshin and purposefully threw it into the path of the weapons, stopping them from reaching Yugito. Wincing as the pain of being stabbed hit his mind, Naruto formed three more and rushed at Tenten, utilizing what rudimentary tactics he knew. Distract the ranged attacker, so the close-combat specialists could deal with their fellow specialists.

Kairai and Yugito found themselves back to back, revolving around slowly, trading blows with the pair of Green Beasts and the stoic Hyuuga. Yugito ducked as Kairai spin-kicked, attaching ninja wire to some shuriken, charging it with static electricity; as soon as they had enough to theoretically knock out a Chunin, she released them in a random direct, catching Gai's leg.

Being the resilient fighter he was, he shrugged the main blow off. Kairai began a rapid combo of punches; he could smell it, _hear it_. The blood rushing in Gai's veins; somewhere, deep in the recesses of his mind, part of him screamed for it to be spilled, to let it run between his fingers like rain. Unconsciously, he moved from punching, to clawing.

Gai managed to roundhouse kick Kairai in the temple, toppling the younger nin backwards, allowing him a few seconds to survey the damage. Mainly shallow cuts tears, but there were some deep gashes; one was dangerously close to a tendon, but he'd be fine.

It was an odd show of synchronisation, fighting back to back. You had to predict your ally's movements perfectly for it to work properly. Yugito blocked the attacks that Kairai couldn't, and vice versa. For Kairai, it wasn't so much as carefully calculating Yugito's move, it was just predicting his opponents, and acting instinctively. Yugito, being the smart one, predicted his instinctive movements, and reacted accordingly, in which Kairai could predict because he knew what Yugito would choose to do the moment he acted. Simply put, Kairai was the one controlling things; Yugito reacted to what he did, and he predicted what Yugito did based on what he did.

Gai could see this; unfortunately, when it came to breaking their little dance of life and death, things were much harder. Kairai's instinctive reactions were predictable, and Yugito was easily capable of covering the holes in his defence. Compounding their problems, ranged support was cut off, and Kairai had a habit of counter-attacking whenever he got the chance. Being close combat, his fangs had quite a few opportunities to sink into flesh. Gai, however, was playing things safe; he could see the faint mauve chakra swirling around his fangs. Demon chakra was highly poisonous to ordinary humans, and Gai didn't want to find out just how poisonous.

The two Jinchuuriki leant back, leaning on each other. Both Yugito and Kairai suddenly broke into their own individual series of hand-seals; it was then, that it dawned on Gai. Kairai was the one pulling shots; Yugito was. Kairai's instinctive nature made him predictable, and Yugito tailored her reactions to so that he would move in a specific manner. And now, it was culminating into a joint jutsu attack.

"**Suiton: Kabe no Mizu!**" cried Kairai, forming the last hand-seal as Yugito shouted the name of her attack, "**Raiton: Raikou Shushou!**" Her hands sparked with electricity as a wall of water rose. Shoving her palm into it, the water electrified before falling forward like a wave, washing over Neji and Lee.

Gai, acting on his 'sensei-ly' instincts, immediately shoved his students out of the way of the high-voltage wave. The lightning coursed up his muscles, as he gritted his teeth in pain. This fight… was going to be harder than he had first anticipated. Kairai was panting slightly; performing a B-rank Suiton was pretty difficult when all you had was a canteen of water, and their collective sweat. The last part was always the funniest; the opponent stank afterwards.

Humour aside, this was dragging on far too long for Kairai's liking. He was starting to pant; he didn't like panting. When he started to pant, it meant he was getting tired. And when he got tired, he started to lose what little rationality he had.

That, of course, was a bad thing… _very bad._ When a Jinchuuriki became irrational, people had a very strong tendency to die. By people, he meant _everyone_. Unstable Jinchuuriki were ticking time-bombs, only without the helpful display. They gave off warnings signs and then it was bang… big, painful, bloody bang.

Kairai didn't want to go out like that; he knew that Naruto and Yugito would kill him the moment he did something like that. He was grateful for it, but he wasn't going to let it happen. So, he tried to end every fight as quick as possible; if he could kill them, things would be _so_ much faster.

As a shinobi, he hated having to hold back and being restricted to keeping targets alive. It was so… constraining. He held back though, as killing Naruto's friends wasn't exactly a very friendly thing to do. So, he was forced to play nice with big mister Jounin… with hard fists and strong muscles. Damn.

Yugito, as if sensing his discomfort, placed a hand on his shoulder. Naruto had managed to knock Tenten out, and Gai's nervous system was a tad scrambled at the moment so Neji and Lee were the only ones in fighting fit condition. Kairai was getting a little animalistic, and Naruto was kind of tired from his fight with Tenten, but the trio could easily take the duo on.

Gai attempted to stand, but it seemed to take quite a bit out of the eccentric Jounin. Kairai flicked his bangs out of his face. "You lost." _Now leave_ was left unsaid.

Neji seemed a little miffed, and Lee had disappointment written all over his face. Nonetheless, they both helped their sensei up and turned around to leave. "This won't be the end, Naruto-kun."

Kairai cleaned a little blood off his nails. "Tell the Hokage the next team will be coming home in body bags." The flash in his eyes told them he was serious… deadly serious. Yugito twirled a kunai, and even Naruto wasn't smiling. His melancholic expression, for reasons unbeknownst to them seemed so… natural. It gave him this tired look.

The moment Team Gai was out of sight, Kairai closed his eyes and took a calming breath. Fangs receded a little, and nails shrunk a bit; eyes lightened up. "Well… that went well… I guess… It could be worse… right…?" Yugito thwacked him on the back of his head, turning around in the opposite direction to Team Gai. "You're an idiot." Kairai huffed, and followed her, even though he started sulking in his childish manner. Naruto shook his head and followed after him.

'_Gaara… I wonder how you much you've changed…_'

* * *

The whole messed-up-seal thing is merely to provide a plot device. For every up, there is a down; Kairai's going to find out what next chapter, and naturally, he's not going to like it very much. At all.

On a sidenote, I felt like throwing in shameless self-publicity; read my small collection of one-shots. Please. I'm thinking of grouping them together into a collection; they might get more views; they just... get swallowed up by everything else


	7. Trail: Faceless Man

A\N: Chapter 6. Nothing much else to say.

A tanned hand gripped a kunai tightly, edging it closely along the skin

A tanned hand gripped a kunai tightly, edging it closely along the skin. The early morning rays cast dappled shadows through the forest, before bursting into light at the stream. A silver-haired teen, of about 17 years, shaved a few more facial hairs off; inspecting his face to ensure had hadn't cut himself. The beautifully carved wooden doll at his hip began to move its lips as a voice emanated from his mouth.

"I still think you should grow a beard." The voice was calm, although gruff, and was decidedly masculine. "We are _not_ having this discussion you mangy mutt." The teen's voice was in contrast, younger, smoother.

"Why not…? Not like we have anything better to do after we lost that loose cannon's trail…" Kairai snorted.

"Keep insulting him like that and somebody might think you're jealous." He snickered as the puppet's face contorted into an expression of outrage and indignity. "How dare you, a mere _mortal_" The puppet was cut off as Kairai held up a correcting finger. "That happens to be linked to your soul."

"Imply that I would be _jealous_ of that… _idiot!_"

Kairai was about to fall over laughing. As a matter of fact, he did. He rolled around on the soft green grass, unknowingly rolling over the puppet on numerous occasions, much to its chagrin. Nonetheless, it remained silent as its vessel recovered from his laughing fit. "Oh god… _you're_ jealous." The Gobi had the audacity to bite his hand.

"… Ow…"

The puppet sat on its haunches, glaring at its vessel. "If you so much as say one word about this, I'll tear off that hairless sack you call your balls." Kairai scratched the back of his head nervously. "Hey, no need to get mad…" Yugito's voice cut through the tentative situation. "Kairai!" she shouted, "Get over here and help clean things up!" Rolling his eyes, he re-attached the puppet to his waist.

Kairai sprinted back to the camp, nearly tripping over Naruto's still sleeping form. Naruto had grown over the past two years; his hair was slightly shaggier, and his eyes had lost a bit of their shine. He was dressed in a black jacket with orange trim, with the collar up; a pair of dark orange shinobi pants (Surprisingly, they also came in pink) and a pair of geta. A pair of ski-goggles were placed where his hit-aite normally was, and the hit-aite itself had shifted down to his right arm.

They, after a bit of persuasion on Naruto's part, had managed to convince Gaara to join the group. He was dressed in a dark red ensemble, with matching chest-plate (Think Shippuden), with the gourd of sand on his back. Yugito, however, hadn't changed much. She had already reached the end of her growth period before she met them, and her clothes hadn't changed much at all.

With a sole, swift kick to the whisker-faced shinobi in order to wake him up, Kairai proceeded to help Gaara with cleaning up. Naruto sat up; glaring at Kairai's back, rubbing the spot where he kicked him. "Bastard…" Kairai snorted.

"We're leaving." Yugito said, packing the last of the supplies into the pack. Naruto blinked, before standing up and grabbing his pack. "So, uh… where are we going now?"

Kairai paused for a moment, and Yugito stood up, straightening her back. "Well… I think there's a village a few miles to the west." Kairai nodded.

"Well, to the village I suppose…"

xXx Konoha xXx

Ever since Naruto had officially been declared a nukenin, the Rookie Nine (or should that be Seven?) and Team Gai were a little… disappointed. Naruto didn't seem like the kind of person to just drop everything and leave. Some believed that he was either being forced into out, or one of the Jinchuuriki, probably Kairai as he seemed adept at it, was controlling him with some sort of genjutsu. Others believed Naruto had his reasons but that didn't stop them from wanting to know what those were. And a few of them, had simply decided that Naruto had made his choice, and that it was pointless to pry.

The Sandaime's law was still in action, so telling them the reason Naruto had gone with them was out of the question. After Gai's report from the battle, Neji had to be briefed somewhat. They provided hints, and little pieces but nothing really solid. Just that the group of nin shared a similar, irreversible 'condition', that altered their chakra, hence the abnormality in their coils, and Kairai's adverse reaction to having some of those abnormal tenketsu sealed.

"We're going to have to tell them the truth sooner or later." Jiraiya said, staring at Tsunade, who sighed in response. "I know… we've received some reports claimed they've seen Naruto. We'll hold a meeting of sorts with his friends and we'll… tell them a little more."

True to her word, a meeting was held; the Rookie Seven gathered with their respective senseis as had Team Gai. "This meeting was called to inform you that Naruto has been sighted" Murmurs and a couple of shouts rippled through the assorted ninja. "Yes, yes, we're all excited, but we've decided to reveal what we think they might be heading towards."

Some leaned in closer, but all ears were perked and interest's piqued. "As you know, the group he is travelling consist of himself, Sabaku no Gaara, and two others; their names are Zetsumei Kairai and Nii Yugito" Kiba leapt forward impatiently.

"Get to the point!" Kurenai jerked him backwards before Tsunade could swing her fist at him.

"As I was saying, the reason these specific shinobi have gathered in a single group, is that they all share a common… condition…" Their sensei's were already aware of this, and made no reaction, but their former student's seemed confused. "We are unable to tell you of their condition, as it is an S-Class secret, but what we can tell you is that it alters both their chakra, and their coils.

What we believe they are going after, are the others who share the same condition; in total, there are nine of them." The shinobi stood in place, waiting silently.

"…"

"Each condition is unique to its sufferer, but more importantly, there is a certain hierarchy to it; as their given number raises, so does the power the condition grants."

Sakura opened her mouth to speak; "So, what number is Naruto?"

"Naruto is the Ninth one; the strongest." Silence reigned for a few seconds as it sunk into their thought processes. "Kairai is fifth, Yugito is second, with Gaara as the first."

Gaara was the weakest…? Sakura had seen what he was capable of… Wait…Condition? The transformation…! "Um, Tsunade-shishou, back during the Chunin Exam's when Sound invaded, Gaara transformed… is that a part of the condition…?"

Tsunade sighed. "Yes… it was. So is Gaara's ability to manipulate sand. From what we gather, Yugito should be a powerful Katon user, and Kairai should be adept at genjutsu. We know what abilities each of the unique condition's grant so information on their skills should be provided; we also know where 2 of the missing 5 are… there files are here."

The locations of the Sanbi and Shichibi with their individual profiles, "So… we just watch these areas, and when they arrive to recruit them, retrieve Naruto?" Ino said, staring at the picture of the Shichibi Jinchuuriki. The person in the picture was a tall, smiling male with sandy brown hair, which seemed kind of messy. His eyes were a hazy brown. He was waving at the camera.

The Sanbi Jinchuuriki was a small boy, with blue hair and just dark blue eyes. There was a Kiri hit-aite wrapped around his left arm, and sword taller than he was strapped to his back. Tsunade nodded. "This will be considered a long-term A-Class mission. All of you will be divided and sent to each of these targets."

xXx Back with the Jinchuuriki xXx

"You sure he's here Yugito…?" Kairai asked, placing his hands behind his head. Yugito glared at him for a few seconds. "I'll take that as a positive." Naruto rolled his eyes, whilst Gaara was manipulating the sand out of sheer boredom.

Naruto ran a hand through his hair. "The fox can smell something…" The puppet at Kairai's belt snorted. "That's a first; that bastard usually just crushes anything in his way without bothering to take in the scents…"

"He also says that you're one to talk." The puppet spluttered and began shouting insults before Kairai clamped his hand over his mouth. "Shut up, you'll make a scene… and that's my job." The puppet glared, but made no move to resist.

"Which way…?" Gaara said tonelessly, sand skittering about him anxiously. Kairai's face fell, turning into a much more serious expression. "Gaara, form a sand eye and use it to scout out the village; if you see someone suspicious, describe them and Yugito will identify if it's our target or not." Gaara made no motion other than holding out his hand as the sand gathered to form an eye, before he closed it swiftly, dispersing the sand. With the same hand, he closed on of his eyes to help him focus on the image, and sent the eye floating over the village.

"Guy, green hair, pink eyes…"

"No." Gaara grimaced, and moved the eye a little more to the west. That was the fifth guy… this place was filled with oddballs. Kairai's nose was twitching slightly. "Horse… birds… unwashed hobo…" he said, frowning as he filtered through the scents. "Anything…?"

"No…" Gaara squinted, as the Third Eye returned to him. "I scanned the entire village." Yugito frowned.

"Damn him… he must've left already." She said, gritting her teeth. Kairai rolled his eyes. "Or you're just losing your touch." Yugito swiped at him, but he ducked under it, laughing. Naruto shook his head, and followed them, Gaara hanging back a bit.

"Well, seeing as your friend is such a terrible friend he doesn't want you to find him, we might have to go and look for someone else…" Yugito seemed a little irate at this, but nonetheless made no move to complain. "Rumor has it, that the Shichibi Jinchuuriki is located in Takigakure…" Kairai said, gesturing with his hands,

"From what I gather, he's apparently… got a few loose screws. By that, I mean the guy's a freaking psychopath." Naruto shook his head at his words.

"Do you have to be so calm about it…?" Kairai rolled his eyes.

"No reason to lose our heads over it." Naruto snorted.

"Unless he cuts our heads off…"

Kairai put on a face of disappointment. "Aw, Whiskers, don't you have _any_ faith in us?"

xXx Somewhere, in Takigakure xXx

Ketsurakumen Ikimono strolled down the well-swept streets, smiling like nothing was wrong in the world. The people gave him a wide berth, going so far as to cross the street 10ft in front of him, sometimes even ducking into alleyways so as to avoid him. Rats skittered about nervously, and birds stopped twittering as he passed by. He didn't notice though; it was just something that happened. Humming a song that didn't exist, Ikimono started skipping.

He had stopped asking why he did things, he just… did them. Reasons had ceased to matter; actions need not justification above the fact that he felt like doing them. Maybe that's why people said he was insane. Was it because he killed people on random whims…? Eh. It didn't matter.

The Shichibi was relatively silent; it too, had given up attempting to understand its vessel's crazed mind. Now, all it did was attempt to dissuade him from doing anything that might lead to their collective death. Now, survival instincts aside, the Shichibi no Kaku did _not_ want to die. It was too smart for that… although not smart enough to evade being sealed. The only thing left was searching for a way out, or just plain survival. It could probably twist the seals inner-workings so that its vessel became immortal. Oh yes… that would be nice. It would be just like normal… minus the whole tunnelling thing. Or maybe he would go with the tunnelling.

So many choices, so much to do… oh well; immortality first, _then_ it could worry about its lost power and grandeur.

Well, that's the chapter...

Sneak Preview:

Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 !-- / Style Definitions / p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal mso-style-parent:""; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; page Section1 size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0; div.Section1 page:Section1; -- A small boy circled around the man, who was tied to a chair, flicking a butterfly knife in and out. "So... are you going to tell me where he is, or am I going to have to make you bleed a little more...?" he said cheerfully, pressing the blade just under the man's eye.


	8. Bubbles: Watch the Birdy

A small boy circled around the man, who was tied to a chair, flicking a butterfly knife in and out. "So… are you going to tell me where he is, or am I going to have to make you bleed a little more…?" he said cheerfully, pressing the blade just under the man's eye.

"I will tell you nothing." With a slick swish, and a spray of blood, there was a gash under his eye; gritting his teeth, he blocked out the pain. He would not be broken by… by _this brat_. "Ah well… I can keep making you bleed. Even if you don't eat, I can force it into your digestive system. Even if you stop drinking, I can hydrate your body for you. I can go on forever… _can you?_" he said grinning, tossing the knife from hand to hand carelessly. "All you have to do… is tell me where Hoshigaki-san is, and I _promise,_ I won't kill you."

When the man shook his head, he took a glove off, and placed his hand on his bare shoulder. "_Don't say I didn't warn you_."

The screams could be heard for miles.

xXx In the heart of Kusagakure xXx

A tall man with black hair blew a bubble into the air using a bamboo straw. It popped shortly after, spraying water all over of his blue kimono, which was open to the waist. Across the field from him, stood another man, with long blonde hair pulled into a ponytail, panting as blood trickled down his limbs, staining the black coat decorated with red clouds.

"Do you know why… bubbles form a spherical shape…?" the black-haired man asked, blowing another bubble. The blonde-haired man glared, and wiped the blood from his mouth. "Bubbles... are fragile things. Due to their high surface tension, they form a sphere because of the low surface area-to-volume ratio"

Deidara growled under his breath, "Enough of the lecture, yeah!" he shouted, hurling clay spiders. The man sighed, blowing a stream of bubbles which caught the spiders in mid-air, suspending them. "The human body is protected by the electrical resistance of the skin... but do you know what happens when it comes into contact with _water_?" He went silent for a few moments as if waiting for an answer; when Deidara didn't respond he continued.

"It drops to below a _tenth_ of what it originally was; bubbles are made of water containing air. Electricity is generated by air rubbing against itself, creating static." As if on cue, the bubbles began rotating in every direction at once (think Rasengan training). "Allow me to summarise it for you… When these bubbles burst, _you will die_." Deidara's eyes widened, as the bubbles burst, sending droplets of electrically charged water in every direction; "_Suihou Arashi…_" he said simply, placing the bamboo straw inside his clothes, before turning around and leaving. "You should leave now… the same trick won't work twice." 'Deidara' melted, forming a mound of clay.

xXx The Jinchuuriki xXx

The group of Jinchuuriki had arrived aimlessly at the border of Takigakure and Amegakure. "Now, I'm fairly sure Takigakure is that way…" Yugito shook her head.

"No, it's definitely that way…" Kairai frowned in response;

"The map clearly shows it's in that direction, Yugito." She glared at him, eyes narrowing in a cat-like manner. "Yeah, well the merchant we asked said he was pretty confident it's in _that_ direction." She growled, jerking her thumb in the direction mentioned. Naruto looked at them, alternating between them every now and then whilst Gaara stood to the side, a blank, emotionless statue. "Oh, and _you_ would take the word of some fat asshole who probably couldn't tell his north from south, over an _experienced_ tracker…?" Yugito leant in closer, so their noses were almost touching.

"Oh…? And who died and made _you_ the _expert_?!"

Naruto opened his mouth to attempt to smooth the situation out, but Gaara shook his head. The pair of arguing shinobi both swung at each other. Kairai's hand was comparatively sloppy when viewed alongside Yugito's textbook punch. Nonetheless, both strikes met their mark, sending the duo staggering backwards, before they butted heads again.

"Guys… According to the map, the road the merchant suggested leads to another one that leads to Takigakure…." Naruto said pointing to the trail in question. The pair deflated instantly. "Oh… well, I guess that settles things." He said cheerfully, despite the large bruise forming on his cheek. "What do we do if we can't find him…?" Naruto said, remembering the amount of time they spent looking for the Hachibi's Jinchuuriki.

Kairai blinked. "Look for any of them, I guess…" he said, scratching the back of his head again. He had been doing that a lot lately… Naruto absentmindedly wondered whether there was it was rash. He pushed that thought aside and continued to follow the others as they travelled in the general direction of Takigakure.

xXx Takigakure xXx

The Shichibi, Ikimono learned, could be _very_ annoying when it was nervous. He only managed to get to shut up by threatening to kill himself; he probably wouldn't go through with it, but in it's nervous state, the formerly proud demon believed him and remained silent... for a day or two.

And then it would start ranting and raving about how things were going wrong, and unaccounted variables had been the end of his great, master plans, and the almighty Shichibi's plan had failed for the first time in his entire life.

'_Look, if you don't shut up right now, I will stab myself in the heart, slit my throat, and throw myself off the waterfall. Try healing that.'_ The Shichibi made a worried noise in its throat, before scurrying around in its cage/seal. "**No, no, no!**" it said, voice trembling with nervousness. It was kind of… frightening, knowing that the normally composed bijuu was so… unnerved. "**They're coming…! Oh, what if they're going to kill me…? They wouldn't do that, would they? WOULD THEY?!**"

Ketsurakumen winced at the volume. _'I may be insane, but that doesn't mean I can understand your ramblings.'_ He mentally remarked.

"'**They'** **are the others! The other bijuu and their Jinchuuriki's! Oh god, I hope the Gobi didn't take that insult about his intelligence personally!**"

'_You're probably over-reacting… now shut up, and go… think or whatever it is you overgrown badgers do…_'

xXx Near the border of Grass Country xXx

He was not a very happy man. Being attacked was not something he particularly enjoyed, and now he had to leave another village, in search of a new safe haven… again.

Sighing, he pinched the bridge of his nose; being a Jinchuuriki was so… irritating.

He had to dodge his former village; Kage's who wanted to add his strength to their own, and now _this_. Some organization of wacko's wanted to extract his bijuu, and use it for who knows what. That was just freaking peachy. "**Life isn't meant to be fair.**"

'_Nobody asked you._' The demon inside of him merely rolled her mental eyes.

"**Perhaps you should band together or something… you know, with your kin.**"

'_Screw. That._' He barked mentally, shaking his head vigorously.

"**Why not…?**"

'…_We will destroy each other in the end; no matter how similar a pain, it is impossible to truly understand without experiencing it. That underlying dissimilarity will cause us to implode in a shower of blood._'

"**You give them too little credit…**" He laughed at that idea.

'_It would take a being of genuine purity to hold us together. Even then, with his or her death, we would fall apart like a rickety structure, relying on a single load-bearing point._' The demon inside of him laughed raucously, genuine mirth filling her voice.

xXx Somewhere in Waterfall Country xXx

Naruto gave out an exasperated sigh, and turned to face the others. "Man, this blows!" he shouted indignantly, huffing in irritation. "All we've been doing is walking and walking!" Kairai gave him a light blow to the head.

"Shut up! You think I enjoy endless walking…? Fine… If you're so bored, I'll train you in something new. Element manipulation… Here." Naruto caught the paper card awkwardly. "What's this…?"  
"That is a card that will reveal your elemental affinity; it's activated by channelling chakra through it." Naruto blinked, before following the instruction, a small ripple of chakra running up the card.

"… Um… so… what's this mean…?" Naruto said, staring at his card; it had split down the middle, and both pieces had ignited into flames, leaving a small pile of ash. "Well… you're primary affinity is wind, and your secondary affinity is fire… Normally, it takes a few years to develop a second affinity, but that's probably just the Kyuubi's influence. After all, I had two affinities when I was your age… Wait, I still do..." he muttered, scratching his chin. "It was… Earth and Water wasn't it… or" Naruto kicked him in the shin in order to snap him out of his ramblings. "AH! YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" he roared, gripping his leg, glaring at the grinning Naruto.

Yugito placed a hand on his shoulder, and Gaara almost smiled at the scene. "Right, because of that, I'm going to show you the basics of Wind Manipulation, and then you're on your own. The style taught in Iwagakure, is known as 'The Hammer'. Rather than using winds inherent sharpness, it instead focuses on using it as a blunt force. As an example," he straightened himself, before pulling his palm back and striking forward, causing a small ball of air to slam into a tree, snapping it in half.

"The effect is a bullet of wind. There is no real style that goes with it, and you'll just have to make one of your own to go with it; I'll teach you Fire Manipulation after you get the hang of this. Off you go now!" he said, giving a not-so-playful shove to Naruto, sending him staggering forward.

Gaara had formed a Suna Bunshin for Naruto to practice on, and Yugito gave him useful tips, whilst Kairai went hunting again.

"**The others are getting restless…**"

"Oh… it's you again." The puppet puffed out its chest indignantly, glaring at the teenager. "**Brat… you'll need to gather the others **_**faster**_**.**"

"Or we'll all die, and Akatsuki will win, and _shut the hell up_. I may not trust your word, but I have nothing to lose in doing this, and if I decide that I might have more to gain by not doing this, well… I think you get the picture."

"**They know it is coming; they will bring us together, with or without your help. All you have to gain from this is **_**leadership**_**.**" Kairai rolled his eyes. "**Have I ever told you, you're childish…?**"

"Um, let me think… There was that time when I was seven, when I killed my first"

"**Shut up.**" Kairai let out a barking laugh, before he caught the scent of a deer.

"Well, enough reminiscing about my _lovely _childhood, because I do believe I've found dinner. Mm… Deer…" he said, grinning softly, as he sped forward on all fours.

Training as put on hold when Kairai came back with a deer across his shoulders; Naruto pointedly ignored the teeth-like gashes on its neck, and the small smears of blood on Kairai's canines.

"So, Naruto; made any progress on the wind manipulation?" Naruto nodded, chewing a small chunk of meat. "Yeah, I've gotten better; I can use it in battle now… kind of…" Kairai laughed.

"You haven't even gotten close to mastering it, until you can use it without even thinking about it." Naruto visibly deflated. Kairai ruffled his hair.  
"You'll get it." '_Eventually…_'

xXx Meanwhile… xXx

"**You are just like your father. A pessimistic bastard who couldn't bring himself to see the light in things…**" the Rokubi growled at her container, pawing at the bars.

'_Was that supposed to make me feel better…?_'

"**Next, the only thing you'll see in the mirror would be me.**" The Jinchuuriki sighed. '_Right, so I'm a damper on your happy little party. Stab me._'

"**It's funny. You hated your father, and now, you're becoming him.**" The black-haired teen's eyes narrowed dangerously. '_I am _nothing_ like my father_.' The Rokubi leered at him, leaning forward. "**Oh yes, you are. Physical similarities aside… speaking of which you look just like him. Your personality is a carbon copy of his… Were it not for the fact that you're around 20 years younger than him, plus you tore off his face, I would've said that you **_**were**_** him.**" The Jinchuuriki flung himself at the bars, snarling in a feral manner.

"**You don't want to band together, because you hate Jinchuuriki. You can't stand the fact that your very own father **_**volunteered**_** you for the sealing, and that people would actually sacrifice their own young.**" Gripping the bars in his pale hands, he felt his own chakra flare, attempting to harm the Rokubi in someway, but the seal was a two-way thing. "**You can't look at them or yourself for that matter, without being reminded that you're not human, and that you never will be.**" The chakra spike managed to leak its way into the Rokubi's cage, stabbing at her sharply. "Shut up…" he rasped out lightly, holding onto the bars with limp fingers.

"**I'm right aren't I…?**" The Rokubi prodded lightly, staring down at her container.

"Shut up…!" he snapped, louder this time as if she hadn't heard the first one.

"**I **_**am **_**right! You can't**" The giddiness in her voice was hard to disguise before he interrupted. "SHUT UP!" he roared, chakra spiking mildly.

The Rokubi slid back a little, giving her container a little space. "**You'll have to face them eventually.**"

"Doesn't mean I have to like it…"

"**No, but that's no reason to hate it.**"

"Who needs a reason to hate things?" The Rokubi rolled her eyes, staring down at her container. "**I give up.**"

"… **We have company.**" He reverted into the real world, eyes widening as a group of clay birds circled in close. "Oh" Deidara formed a single handseal.

"Katsu."


	9. Escape: Come out of your Shell

"Hey, Leader-san, we managed to get the Rokubi, yeah." Deidara said, grinning at the shrouded figure as the clay bird deposited the unconscious figure on the floor. The Rinnegan wielder nodded, and summoned the giant statue. The holographic images of the other members' phazed into view as they prepared for the technique; in the mind of Aranami Kokuun the Rokubi no Raijuu stirred. "**… You fucking idiot.**" She hissed at the semi-awake figure in front of her. "… Do it. Activate the contingency plan."

"… **You realize this is going to hurt like a bitch…?**" Kokuun glared at the Weasel, as it coiled around the pillar marked with seals, a chain leading off to a collar, also marked with seals, around the Rokubi's neck.

"I don't care. I'd rather feel like one of those Akimichi had jumped on me a few hundred times or so than be dead wondering where I went wrong. _Activate it, now!_" The Weasel sighed, and flooded his system with bioelectricity.

Electricity was the heart of magnetism; after all, magnetism was merely the attraction of opposite charges, both positive and negative. An electrical current was capable of placing those charges, creating a magnetic field. The 70% of the human body was made of water, and water conducted electricity. By using the nerves, in conjunction with the blood, the Rokubi turned her container into one big magnet.

The rings that the Akatsuki used were made a material that was quite conductive of chakra. That material happened to be magnetic; the amount of effort put into intelligence, just to find out that snippet, was incredible. It was by pure coincidence, that the Projection technique that Pein had devised relied on magnetism.

With the Projection's dispelled forcefully, and the two remaining figures rings violently jerked towards the figure in the centre, the jutsu was dispelled immediately.

Of course, all this came at a price. Flooding one's body with bioelectricity was not exactly painless. On the contrary; it felt like he died ten times over. Staggering upwards, he grinned. The contingency plan had worked far better than either of them could have imagined. "… Akasuna no Sasori; you're a puppeteer, aren't you…?" he said, grinning at them. "What I just did then, was a bioelectric magnet. You're puppets will invariably contain metal _somewhere_. You, stand no chance. Deidara of Iwa, your explosive clay… it doesn't like electricity, does it? I doubt any of it still has its charge after that discharge."

"You, as partners, are the worst possible match for me." Sasori snorted.

"You can barely stand, let alone walk. Don't bullshit me." Aranami Kokuun just laughed. Laughed long and hard, "Y'know, you're right. I can barely stand, and I can't even take a single step. But you know what? I don't have to. The body moves because the brain tells it to; it does this by sending signals down the nerves. The signals are tiny _electric_ charges. No matter how hard my body screams in pain, I can force it to stand. I can force it to walk. And you know what? I can force it to _kill_."

Sasori frowned inside the puppet. Aranami Kokuun had the advantage. He would undoubtedly be captured, but not by them. Lightning, when used properly, was this partnership's biggest weakness. Deidara's head was swimming. How had he figured out the weakness…? He was hoping to at least bluff the Jinchuuriki into submission.

Aranami grinned grew slightly. '_Right, I owe you a bloodbath._'

"**See…? His explosives **_**do**_** become duds under an electric charge!**"

His grin widened. "Now then… Let's do things the easy way… I'm going to kill you two, and you're going to lie down and take it." Deidara glared. His explosives may lose their bang, but they by no means lost their life. He formed another bird, half-dragged and half-lifted Sasori onto it, and flew out the door before Kokuun could retaliate. "… Ah well, didn't have the chakra to kill 'em anyway." The Rokubi shook her head inside the seal. "**You… are the biggest idiot I've ever encountered.**"

'_Oh, shush you._'

Shortly after the Jinchuuriki made good his escape, the projects re-flickered into existence. "… It appears as though Sasori and Deidara have failed to re-capture the Rokubi Jinchuuriki." Pein noted, glancing at the surroundings. There wasn't even as much as a sign of a fight. "Deidara did mention that he only managed it through a surprise attack." Itachi pointed out tonelessly, not bothering to look around. Pein closed his eyes in annoyance. "Then we have no choice but to shift bases. We will strike at a later date." The members nodded, before flickering out of sight again.

xXx Takigakure xXx

"No dice." He said simply, brushing Kairai aside and continuing on his merry way.

"What…? Aw come on!" Kairai spluttered indignantly, "We're a lot of fun to be with, and uh, we have a pretty sweet dental plan!" Yugito palmed her face at his ridiculous attempt to convince him. Gaara blinked callously, before shrugging it off. Ketsurakumen Ikimono wasn't fazed in the slightest. "Nah, don't need a dental plan. Just got to swill my mouth with the Shichibi's chakra; kills off all the germs and stuff."

"Well, uh, ah… I'll ask nicely…?" Ikimono didn't even blink, before pushing him to the side lightly. In his mind, the Shichibi no Kaku stirred lightly. "**It's a good offer… I think you should take it.**" Ikimono frowned inwardly.

'_Nobody asked you._' The badger snorted, and puffed its chest out.

"**Harrumph! I, am the Great Shichibi no Kaku, the wisest and most intelligent being in existence!**"

'… _Are you asking for Kami to kick you in the balls?_' The Shichibi blinked, before snorting. "**It's true. Now, as the wisest of all things in existence, don't you think you should take my advice, even if just this once?**"

'… _You're wise, that's true. But _you_, of all beings, should realize that if I don't want to do something… I don't do it._'

"**Foolish mortal, I'm only suggesting this because if we don't take it, we'll die!**"

Ikimono rolled his eyes. '_You sound… scared. Why is that…? Don't you want to die…? Are you _afraid_? Are you scared that all your knowledge and wisdom won't save you in hell…? I think you're afraid._'

"**I'm not afraid, just anxious! There is still so much to do in this world!**"

'_Yeah, that's your problem. You just keep scheming and planning… and you know what…? When the tiniest thing goes wrong, you go _crazy_!_'

The Shichibi growled. "**Enough. Choose already… make your Kami-damned decision so we can be done with it!**"

'… _You know what…? I just think I might join them. Seems interesting, and Takigakure has gotten so… _boring_ over these last few years. Nothing's changing. It's all a routine… a_ plan_._' The Shichibi rolled its eyes. After growing up, listening to the Shichibi no Kaku plan and scheme, Ketsurakumen Ikimono grew to despise schemes, plans and their ilk. He hated the way people expected everything to just flow thoroughly, and suddenly, if something went wrong, everyone simply lost it; it was stupid… inane.

They acted as if everything would just plop into their laps, as if the plan was so powerful… so… _fool-proof_. They were so damn foolish to believe that their plans could survive, as if they could withstand the pressure of reality.

Kairai had a plan; the very moment he mentioned those words, Ikimono wanted nothing to do with him. The Toumoku-Jounin had a plan. The Council had plans. The Shichibi had more plans than he knew what to do with… somewhat. And whenever someone came up with a plan, nothing good came out of it. The Council had drawn up new trading treaties and expansion plans. It had sent Taki into a recession. The Toumoku-Jounin had sealed the Shichibi into him. He didn't even care to breach that subject. The Shichibi was endlessly attempting to manipulate the world around him, adapting everything on the fly, and improvising where something failed.

Kairai had a plan to save them all. Ikimono was touched, really; a plan to save them all. How nice… but Ikimono was pretty content where he was. He may not use plans but he was by no means a bumbling fool. His was pretty capable of dropping off the face of the earth if need be.

"**You can be so naïve some times.**" The Jinchuuriki frowned as the Shichibi's words reached his mental ears. "…?"

"**You don't plan anything, and drift through life like a rotting log, awaiting its inevitable end at the waterfall.**"

"_What will be, will be, Badger. If I am to die, then so be it. If the world is to go up in flames, than who am I to deny it?_" The Shichibi burst into raucous laughter. It was oddly unnerving. "**If you are to die, then why should you go along with it? If the world is to go up in flames, than why should you agree? You have always prided yourself in that you control your life, without a plan. But you were merely lying to yourself." **Ikimono said nothing, as the giant badger leered at him from its sealed burrow. "**You, all along, were wishfully thinking. You foolishly believed that you couldn't plan. That was your plan. And it failed, the moment it was conceived.**"

"**Plans suck. They don't live very long, and they usually don't work the way their supposed to. But you know what…? They're a fact of life. They're there, and they're not going away. So, suck it up, and deal with it.**"

Ikimono blinked, before turning around. "… _Plans will always go up in flames… If I am to die in the inferno, then I will die smiling._"

xXx River Country xXx

Arainami slumped against the tree, panting. '_… That was cutting it a little too close that time…_' The Rokubi snorted languidly.

"**Close doesn't even begin to describe it. You better come up with a new plan, or they're going to send someone else after us. One we can't beat.**"

xXx Meanwhile… xXx

"Don't worry big guy, we'll get him… then… we'll make him pay." The boy muttered, patting far taller figure's hand reassuringly. The figure was covered in a large divers-suit (Kind of like an early diving-suit, but with a more modern headpiece.), the eyepieces glazed over and emotionless. He was at least 8ft tall, the suit enlarging his hands and feet by a small degree. Completely silent, the Sanbi Jinchuuriki was a broken shell.

The boy who stood at his feet was his assigned 'handler'. Being the most rational in his graduating class, (He only killed one person) the Mizukage assigned him to 'take care' of Tenbatsu Enkai. After time, he had grown emotionally attached to his charge, and took up the helm of avenging the Jinchuuriki, by exacting revenge on those responsible for his now mindless mentality. The Kiri no _Shinobi_ Gatana Nana Ninshuu were the former care-takers of the Sanbi Jinchuuriki.

When they simultaneously rebelled in a chain reaction, the Mizukage was afraid that Tenbatsu would follow in their footsteps. So, with a little pre-emptive torture, he had perfectly good and all-too-willing tool. He followed instructions from just about anybody that wore a Kiri hit-aite.

The boy, Kaijin, was the primary handler, and directed the destructive force of Tenbatsu pretty efficiently. Always cautious not to over-exert his charge, although such an event had never occurred, and always ready to lavish him with praise for a job well done with the blind hope that he would respond; smile, grunt… anything.

He turned to face their prisoner. Cocking his head to the side, he glanced at the diver-suit wearing teenager. "… Kill him." Tenbatsu cocked his fist back, and sent it crashing down upon the poor man shortly after. The blow shattered the sternum, and broke a few ribs, piercing the vital organs they were designed to protect. He died painfully but quickly. Kaijin shook his head. His companion rarely fought with chakra, preferring to smash the opponent with a single, monolithic punch.

"… Now… are you willing to tell us where he is, or is my friend over here going to have to deal with you too?" Behind fogged up glass, a pair of dark blue eyes sharpened at the notion that he was going to have deal with someone. But what kind of person would he have to 'deal' with this time…? The suspense was _killing_ him.


	10. Drain: The Gathering

The silver-haired figure blinked at the one who stood across from him. Running a calloused hand through his hair, he opened his mouth to speak. "Okay then… Welcome to the group… I guess… That's Yugito, I'm Naruto… that little blonde kid's Naruto," Naruto gave an indignant shout, before rushing at Naruto who held him off with a palm. "And the creepy one over there's Gaara." The redhead nodded, brushing the jab aside completely.

Naruto scratched the back of his head, blue eyes studying the other man. '_Wonder what was with sudden change…_' The Kyuubi made a snorting sound, but otherwise, didn't respond. Raising a mental eyebrow at the demon's response, Naruto shrugged it off, and slapped Ikimono on the back. "So, to make it official, you'll have to slash… Oh, you already did… Uh, well, welcome to the Family!" '_Spoilsport._'

xXx Water Country xXx

Kaijin looked at Tenbatsu's still form, as he pretended to sleep. It was strange… he had never really seen his companion do…anything other than obey, and smash things up. He had taken to watching him whilst pretending to sleep, to see if Tenbatsu did anything whilst he slept. Nothing… not a sound, nothing moved, or so much as twitched. He wasn't even sure the broken teen was even sleeping. It was almost depressing. But he was a Kiri-nin, and a proper one at that.

Opening an eye, he made a small show of waking up, and nudged his companion. "We're heading to a small island known as Wave Country; apparently, that's where Zabuza died and the site of his burial. Tenbatsu turned his head to this handler, staring down at the smaller figure. Kaijin couldn't really describe Tenbatsu's stare… it was scary at the least. You couldn't see his eyes, so it was hard to determine if he was staring at you specifically, but even when he was obviously just looking in your general direction, it felt as if he looking inside of you; as if he could see your organs pulsing beneath your muscles… as if he could see your heart beating. Whilst he had grown to love Tenbatsu like a brother, there was no denying that he hated that stare.

It took them a short time of travel, with Tenbatsu forming a constant wave to drive their ship forward towards the now-prospering island. It had taken a few hours of travelling and a few more hours of searching before they found Zabuza's grave.

In a rare moment of humanity, Tenbatsu knelt down on one knee, and placed a gloved hand to the ground. Kaijin idly wondered if the taller teenager was crying, or at least shedding a few tears. The rubber-covered hand reached out and grabbed Kubikiri Houcho, the former member of the Seven Swordsmen's trademark tool for wreaking death.

As his fingers wrapped around the hilt, a voice rang out. "Oi, bastard… that's _my _sword!" shouted the newcomer, as a pale fist came slammed into the side of the Sanbi Jinchuuriki's head... There wasn't a single sign that he had even felt the blow. Suigetsu gritted his teeth and attempted to flip over him, and kick him in the face. The glassy eyes didn't crack, and the teen didn't as much as recoil. Slowly, he held up a hand, and just as slowly, began to raise a single finger. Once fully raised, a long second passed, before Suigetsu felt himself thrown backwards onto a tree, bursting into water from the force of the impact.

The first thought that rang through Kaijin's head was 'Mizu Bunshin?' but the water reformed slightly, into a dazed and somewhat unconscious former Kiri-nin. The rest of Hebi descended from the tree-tops. "Shit!" Karin shouted rushing over to the half-puddle, half-man. Juugo and Sasuke stood before the duo impassively. In a rare moment of cognitive expression, Tenbatsu inclined his head slightly. Kaijin nodded. "Go nuts." He could've sworn that his charge was grinning. Pointing his hand at Juugo now, with the palm face down, he jerked it upwards, so that the palm was now facing the calm berserker. He, like Suigetsu, was flung back but didn't burst into water as his companion did.

Turning the hand so it pointed to a now quite wary Sasuke, he returned it to its original palm-down state before jerking it down swiftly. Sasuke slammed into the ground, an unseen force pushing him into the hard earth. When the monolithic teen turned to face Karin, Sasuke leapt forward, a Chidori charged in his hands. With a sickening slicking sound, the concentrated, pure lightning chakra pierced the right shoulder of the Sanbi Jinchuuriki. '_Damn! Missed the- AAH!_' thought Sasuke, suddenly letting out a howl, as lightning coursed up his arm; Tenbatsu shared his pain, the lightning coursing throughout his entire body, immense pain flaring through every part.

The reason of the backlash made itself apparent, when Sasuke felt something gush out, over his arm. Pure, crystalline water, intermingled with crimson blood as it trickled down his arm, still speared through the pale skin. Tenbatsu let out a silent scream of agony, and a flailing hand smashed into Sasuke's ribcage, easily shattering the bone and battering the flesh. The angle of the blow forced Sasuke's own arm to twist and snap, the burning pain flaring in his arm as it slipped through the hole, bent at an odd angle.

Karin stared wordlessly as the smaller teen rushed forward and tried to calm the other one down; with a sickening crunch the right hand slammed into his stomach, bones snapping like twigs. Kaijin felt a globule of blood fly out of his mouth, as he whipped through the air, crashing to the ground with a hefty thud.

xXx Jinchuuriki Camp xXx

Naruto plopped himself down in front of the Kyuubi's sealed form. Naruto had long since instinctively learnt the 'danger zone'. "Alright furball, what do you want now…?"

"**Remember that time, 15 years ago, when that damn Hokage sealed me in here…?**" Naruto frowned, unconsciously rubbing his stomach.

"What the hell are you getting at, you damn rabbit-eared mass of fur?!"

"**Indeed. The full effects are finally being realized.**" At those words Naruto blinked. "**The foolish Hokage had originally planned for our power to be merged… as a failsafe, only half of my power would do so, as the effects were to be studied, and if deemed safe, continued.**

**As **_**perfect**_** as he was, he was not truly**_** perfect**_**. The effects were not as he desired.**"

"… We're not going to die, are we…?" The Kyuubi snorted.

"**Boy, if we were going to die, I wouldn't be so calm. As it is, the results will have to be endured. Our personalities are merging.**" Naruto paled even further, sinking to his knees. "… You… you mean my charming charisma is going to be absorbed by your mindless bloodlust?!" The Kyuubi's paw lashed out, nearly touching Naruto.

"**NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR YOUR PETTY JOKES!**" it roared angrily, inciting a likewise response. "I WAS SERIOUS!" The Kyuubi gave a small hmph, and bent forward, so its face was as close to Naruto's as possible. "**Our personalities have joined the chakra in the merger; only half of us will be merged, and even then, it will be more of a sharing of personality traits then anything else. I will still be me, and you will still be… whatever you are. Only you will be more like me, and I'll be more like you… unfortunately, these things must be endured.**"

Naruto's eyebrow twitched. "What was that supposed to mean, you hypocrite?!"

"**Fine then, I'll explain it, so you're puny mind can understand it. Say, you like natto,**"

"But I hate natto…"

"**DO NOT INTERRUPT! **_**Hypothetically speaking**_**, you like natto, and I… don't really eat so I wouldn't care. As the merging goes along, I would slowly start to gain a preference for natto. This is the same for everything we either like, dislike love or loathe. This also includes our own little quirks, such as my **_**articulated**_** bloodlust, and you're pranks.**"

"**But this brings up a very pressing matter. The nature of the seal…**

**Our consciousnesses have joined chakra in the trading of the seal; the seal was designed so that the merged chakra would be designated as a third body.**" Naruto blinked, as realization dawned upon him; a rare occurrence.

"You mean it's going to get even more crowded here…"

"… **Yes. We will soon have to share our mind with a third mentality. He will be the manifestation of our merged personalities. In other words, he's going to be quite the handful.**"

Not much had happened in three months. Naruto had been sleeping when the Kyuubi jerked him into his mindscape. Giving him an angry glare, Naruto yawned. "What's the big idea, fluffy…?" The Nine-tailed Fox merely pointed behind Naruto with a single tail. "Yo. A little bleak in here, doncha think…?" Naruto turned slowly, as the somewhat familiar voice reached his ears. He was clearly a cross between both Naruto and Kyuubi; that is, if Kyuubi was a human. His hair was a bloodied red, much like the bijuu what stood in front him; one eye was a cerulean not unlike Naruto's, whilst the other was a deep red, mimicking the Kyuubi's own. He was dressed in the same garbs as Naruto. His teeth were far sharper then Naruto's, his mouth seemingly filled with sharp, snow-white fangs. He raised his hands and shoulders in a clear 'Well, don't look at me' expression and his grin widened, shaking his head slightly.

"Could ya at least've thought of something more interestin' than a sewer…? I mean, a forest woulda been nice." It sounded like two voices at once; Naruto's own and Kyuubi's deeper, baritone voice. It was… creepy. "So, uh… what's your name…?"

"Name…? I ain't got one… only been alive fer a few days." Naruto scratched the back of his head. "Okay then… Uh… how about Sanji…?" Before the newly-christened Sanji could reply, the Kyuubi interrupted. "**Time to wake up…**" Growled the large fox, and Naruto felt himself expelled out of his mind; frowning, the hybrid faced Kyuubi. "You oughta teach me how ta do that…" The Kyuubi snorted and faced away from him. The third mentality simply laughed.

xXx Wave Country xXx

Karin gave another worried glance at Sasuke, before giving a wary one to the teen in the diver-suit who stood in the corner of the cave they had taken shelter in. He was completely and utterly machine-like… not a single sound, despite his heavy boots, there wasn't even the rasping of the breathing apparatus on his mask. It felt like he wasn't even there, as if the suit was simply empty. She remembered the day they had run into him and his companion.

After he had calmed down from his berserk state, he had promptly dragged all of them into a cave. Well, he dragged Karin by the hand, and simply hoisted the other three on his shoulder; Suigetsu was drawn along, still in his half puddle state by invisible strings. Tenbatsu, she realized, manipulated water. That, was probably that invisible force he had used to utterly smash Team Hebi. The body was 70% water, so his water manipulation skills must've bordered on god-like.

When he had brought them into the cave, he set the unconscious bodies of Sasuke, Juugo and Kaijin down, stood in the corner. Karin realized he wanted her to heal his companion, and had probably brought Sasuke, Juugo and Suigetsu as a sign of goodwill. In return for giving her the chance to heal her team-mates without crushing her into the dust like he was quite capable of, she was going to have to heal his. Fair enough, she supposed, running a small diagnostics jutsu on the small genin. He looked fairly young, especially compared to the giant Sanbi Jinchuuriki. It made her wonder what he was doing with a ninja that quite obviously eclipsed him in sheer power.

Suddenly, the boy began to stir, scrunching up his face, before easing his eyes open. "… Tenbatsu…?" he said incredulously. The taller teen inclined his head slightly. Now, it was quite obvious that Tenbatsu had 'negotiated' his recovery at the hands of the medic-nin, but the question that hovered in Kaijin's mind wasn't what, but why. The most plausible reason was Tenbatsu was merely fulfilling his duty as a Kiri-nin; the Mizukage's… _therapy_ was quite good at instilling loyalty into even the most rebellious of hearts. Then there was the idealistic, but highly unlikely theory that Tenbatsu did it out of the goodness of his heart.

Pfft. What goodness…? What _heart_ for that matter. Mizukage-sama's methods had made a heartless but loyal machine out of a somewhat ordinary, loyal ninja. It was… pointless. Someone who was not going to betray him in the first place had been made impossible to betray. He reminisced of the times, when he was still in the Academy, that he had actually taken off the suit he wore. Usually, he just removed the headpiece, often to talk to someone, and even on a visit to the Academy. But now… he never took it off. Day in, day out, always in that suit… Humourlessly, it occurred to him that he never went to the toilet.

"So, what's your name…?" Karin said conversationally, desperate to talk to _someone_. 2 months in almost complete silence had almost driven her insane. Sasuke and Juugo awoke a few times but didn't say much, and that stony monolith wasn't going to open his mouth anytime soon.

"Kaijin… yours…?" She smiled sweetly. Kaijin felt a pang of rage ring throughout him. He hated it when people patronized him.

"My names Karin pleased to meet you." Kaijin felt like punching her in the face but plastered a milk and honey smile on his face. Karin seemed to accept it, and began to babble on about the most trivial things. The Kiri genin blinked. '_I wonder how they put up with her… Maybe I can get Tenbatsu to shut her up._'

xXx Meanwhile… xXx

Naruto decided to have a sparring match with his clones whilst they took a break. In the small grassy clearing surrounded by trees in a grove not far from where the camp site was, he formed the familiar cross-shaped seal and shouted the name of the jutsu.

"Yo." That… was unexpected. Sanji grinned at him in the form of a Kage Bunshin. "What the hell?!" shouted Naruto, waving his hands frantically for extra effect. Sanji's grin faded a little. "The Kage Bunshin works by splitting your consciousness into multiple fragments and each inhabits a new body made of chakra. So, whenever you make a Kage Bunshin, I can slip my consciousness in it, and fuel it with my chakra."

"… Your chakra…?" Sanji rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Baka." He said lightly, holding out his hand as a small purple glow surrounded it. "My mind is the product of the fusion between yours and the Kyuubi's. My chakra, is no different. So, you wanted a sparring parter, and you got one. I think like you, but at the same time, I think like Kyuubi." With that, he rushed forward, throwing a right hook. Naruto raised an arm to block, but was surprised when the invisible force of air slammed against his arm, pushing it away. Ducking under the kick, Naruto swung his own fist coupled with wind chakra. He was surprised when Sanji used his own wind chakra to block the attack. "When two forces of equal strength clash in opposing directions, they negate each other!" he said grinning, as his fist suddenly sped up, cracking into Naruto's own.

Naruto jerked his fist back, so that Sanji fist met air. Severely unbalanced by the unexpected lack of resistance, the third mentality let out gasp of air when Naruto slugged him in the gut with his other fist. The gasp melded into a grin when Sanji grabbed Naruto's wrist, flipped over Naruto whilst simultaneously throwing him overhead. "Hah! You're going to have to try harder then that, Kokuou." Naruto glared at him, snorting at his nickname.

They continued in a similar manner for a few more hours, before Naruto plopped himself down, panting. Sanji grinned, sliding down against a tree, "That was a pretty good workout, Kokuou." Naruto frowned.

"Don't call me that." Sanji snickered in response, his eyes glinting in the sunlight. "Can't do that Kokuou; that would be… out of place." He started laughing at Naruto's flustered glare. Forming a one-handed seal, he grinned. "Ja ne, Kokuou… until next time…" with a poof of smoke, Naruto's second persona returned to his mind.

When Naruto returned to the camp, Kairai, Yugito, Ikimono and Gaara; well, mainly Kairai and Yugito, were poring over a map, discussing their next route. "Yes, but if you go _that_ way," Kairai send tracing the route with his finger, "than you decrease the chance that Iwa Anbu will find us." Yugito frowned, as she watched his finger lightly trace an imaginary road. "Regardless, if we go the path you specified, we are in a much more crowded area, and there is a higher chance of Akatsuki learning our position." Kairai pinched the bridge of his nose, and pursed his lips in a rare expression of heavy frustration, tinged with small specks of anger.

"It is vital that we avoid encountering anyone or anything to do with Iwa." Yugito frowned, watching as an unidentifiable emotion danced in his eyes. "Is that just because you came from there?"

"_Regardless _of the _reasons_, it is _vital_ that we _avoid_ _Iwa_." He said the words more forcefully than usual, glaring at Yugito, as if daring her to disagree. She blinked. It was _definitely_ something to do with his former village. But, she was never one step back from a challenge.

"_Regardless_ of the _reasons_, it is much _better_ if we _avoid_ the group of S-Class criminals that are out for _our blood_." The two locked glares, engaging in a silent battle of wills whilst the other three stood off to the side, staring at them. "Do they always do that…?" Ikimono said blankly, gazing at their forms. They hadn't really noticed, but if they moved any closer, their noses would be touching. Naruto shook his head. "Unfortunately… yes." He muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. Yugito was normally fairly serious, but Kairai's childish nature seemed to bring something out in her.

"Fine!" shouted Kairai suddenly, breaking away from the glaring match, "You win! We'll go your way!" He stalked off into a small corner of the grove they were camping in, presumably to sulk. Naruto could barely catch some words he muttered under his breath. "Don't blame me when" but the sentence remained unfinished. Shrugging it off in a careless manner, Naruto rolled out his sleeping bag, and laid back, head against his pack.

Sleeping in the forest had become second-nature, as they spent very little time in villages and the like. He felt himself drift off, wondering how everyone back in Konoha were handling things.

xXx Back at Wave xXx

Kaijin and Tenbatsu stood to one side whilst Team Hebi stood at the other. The atmosphere was almost cold enough to freeze Suigetsu but Kaijin and Sasuke gave each other a stiff nod before turning around and going their separate ways, beckoning their companions to follow them. They would probably encounter each other again. After all, Suigetsu wanted to collect the swords of the Seven Shinobi Swordsmen. Kaijin wanted their heads. Maybe they could've gotten to some sort of pact.

Belatedly, Kaijin realized Tenbatsu hadn't patched up that bare spot in his suit. The skin was pale, almost ivory in complexion. It was then that the reason that he could never see his eyes dawned upon him. His entire suit was normally filled with water, but with that wound, it had all drained away. He stole a glance at the now clean and clear eyepieces. Two, uninterested dark cobalt eyes met his, boring into his body with that stare of his. Kaijin shuddered. He _hated_ that stare.

xXx Somewhere in Earth Country xXx

At a small river, Arainami bent down to take a drink. He had healed fairly well after his encounter with the Akatsuki, and had retreated south. The Six-tailed Weasel stirred inside of him, seemingly sniffing the air. "**Well, what would you know? There are about… five Jinchuuriki to the west, and there's another one much further away down northeast.**" Kokuun frowned.

'_Which ones…?_'

"**The Ichibi, Nibi, Gobi, Shichibi and Kyuubi have gathered at the west, and the Yonbi is up northeast.**" Kokuun's frown deepened.

'… _We're not going to have pay them a visit… are we…?_'

The Rokubi laughed. "**Of course we are, you idiot. I haven't seen my good friends the Gobi or the Shichibi in **_**ages**_**.**"


	11. Surpise: Family Dinner

A\N: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

* * *

Blood… the dark crimson water of life dripped out from his arm. More of the precious liquid cascaded down his body from several lacerations. When was the last time he had bled like this…? Tenbatsu had no real idea. The Mizukage had decided he was no longer valuable. Kaijin had been cut down pretty quickly, and the larger teen had gone into another berserker state. He still couldn't get the sickening pasty substance of his gloves anymore. He picked at it idly, with his nails.

Kaijin was his handler, and he had avenged him in a suitable manner. Only for him, would he do such a thing. Only for him, would he wilfully go into an uncontrollable rage. But now, the genin was dead, and vengeance dealt out harshly… but then came the Oinin. In groups of five or six, relentless in their charge they attacked him. Naturally, he had pulverised all of them into oblivion, but that didn't make it any easier; they were like dogs. They tracked him down no matter how much he tried to hide.

His suit had become nigh on useless. There was a glaring hole in its defensive capabilities, and a tool was only as good as its weakest point. After a small detour in a village to acquire some replacement garments, he glanced at his reflection in the water. Standing at nearly 8ft, it had been a bit of a hassle to find clothes that fit him, and he was forced to have them tailor-made with some ryo he had 'liberated' from some bandits. Loose cargo pants, and a form-fitting black sleeveless shirt, topped off with a dark blue, bell-sleeved trench coat, and a gas-mask. He felt kind of naked without something covering his face.

Running a pale hand through dark blue hair, he let a frown cross his masked face. The Sanbi was quiet. That didn't surprise him much. But the silence was foreboding, as if it was withholding something. Tenbatsu didn't like it when people withheld information from him. Then again, it was not like he could simply 'deal' with the Three-tailed Shark the same way he dealt with people. So, he had to ask for it.

Banishing himself into his mindscape, he let his thoughts drift; jumping from driftwood to driftwood in the vast ocean he called his mind. "Isonade." He called out, resting on a piece of driftwood. The Sanbi rose from the depths of the seal, a large, swirling whirlpool. Silence reigned throughout his mind, neither entity saying a word. Wordlessly, the Sanbi no Isonade re-submerged, leaving the Jinchuuriki high and dry. Frowning at the Shark's unwillingness to reveal what was going on; Tenbatsu let himself sink into the ocean in a similar manner. Such things had to be taken in stride, unfortunately.

Idly pondering what to do next, he traced the hilt of Kubikiri Houcho with his thumb. All of the Seven Shinobi Swordsmen had a unique sword, and a few even had unique abilities. He was due to be made one of the Swordsmen before the others turned traitor. He should probably get a sword forged, preferably a chakra blade. He wanted not only something unique, but something that would help him greatly. Zabuza's old sword was fabulous weapon, but it wasn't really… him, so to speak. The blade was designed for a single, swift strike, and, in limited space, the hole in the blade could be looped over the head, and the enemy could be decapitated in a single, swift jerk.

But that wasn't really what Tenbatsu was all about. He used a single swift strike, but it was less of a precise one, and based around surprise as the old somewhat self-proclaimed Master of Silent Killing. He was all about a single, swift and _monolithic_ strike. Finish the battle in one powerful blow. And the Kubikiri Houcho just didn't have that destructive power. There were a decent amount master sword-smiths in Kiri… but they weren't necessarily the best. And he doubted he could set foot in there without being surrounded. Iwa had pretty good smiths, as did Kumo. Kumo's metal was pretty conductive, and Tenbatsu liked to keep a small sheen of water over his body, so if he were hit by a Raiton Jutsu, he would probably be fried alive.

Iwa it was, he supposed. They made more hammers and axes then swords, but there were a few master sword-smiths. One of them was a specialist in making chakra blades. How lucky of him.

xXx Iwagakure xXx

The Tsuchikage was a surprisingly patient man. He believed strongly in letting things come to him, rather than going out to snatch them. When Kairai had betrayed them, and attempted to assassinate him, he was confident that he would return. For one reason or another, Kairai would have to come back to Earth Country, and then, when he did, he would strike… with a polite request. He wasn't going to force the Gobi Jinchuuriki to do anything. Well, not overtly. If he gave Kairai a polite request, he was bound to accept. Grudgingly, and reluctantly, but he would. After all, he was always so inquisitive. And if he sent out a nice, calm, request, he was bound to wonder what the hell was going on.

And, just as curiosity killed the cat, it would begin to slowly gnaw away at him. It could take him years, possibly even a decade… but Zetsumei Kairai would come. And when he did, he lay down a second proposal. And he would take it, hook, line and sinker. Kairai would be just like that. For all his analytical skills and instincts, despite the fact that everything screamed trap he would still waltz in like nothing was wrong. That was something the Tsuchikage had used opportunistically to manipulate him.

All he had to do was give him a mission, leave out some essential details, and bingo. The silver-haired Jinchuuriki would be all over it like flies to honey. This trap would be no different.

xXx Border of Earth Country xXx

Kairai glared at the fire as they made camp near the border. He didn't like going in this direction. He would've voiced his real reasons, but he caved in. Not to Yugito, but rather, himself. It was a bad thing, and one of them was likely to get hurt but… he was interested. He wanted to see what the Tsuchikage would do. A part of him already knew what he would do, but he needed to see it with his own eyes. He had managed to stave off the urge, but when Yugito insisted, he didn't find the strength to resist. It was hard enough to resist against himself, but both him _and_ Yugito? There was no way he could win.

"**Curiosity killed the cat**" The Gobi chimed in suddenly. Kairai rolled his eyes and finished his sentence, "And now it's killing the brat. Yeah, yeah, heard it before, you mutt…" The Five-tailed Demon Wolf merely huffed. Kairai would've laughed, were it not for his sour mood. "What do you want, puppy-dog?"

The Gobi rolled his eyes. "**Such a lame insult, oji-san… Surely you could do better being so **_**experienced **_**in the ways of life.**" Kairai felt his eyebrow twitch, and the Gobi nearly giggled in glee at his vessels expression. Now it was Kairai's turn to roll his eyes.

"You can be so childish when you want to be, y'know…?" The light-hearted banter aside, the air grew colder with the chill of business. "So, what did you really want?"

"**Don't lie to me. I know what you're planning.**" Kairai cracked an eye.

"Huh. No hiding from the Big Bad Wolfy, I suppose." The Gobi's paw lashed out, freezing inches from his face, claws almost close enough to scratch his nose.. "**Enough jokes, brat. I know one thing and one thing only. **_**You're planning something**_**.**" Kairai laughed, pushing the gargantuan limb to the side with his hand.

"Yeah… I am." He remarked lightly, an air of nonchalance surrounding him.

The Gobi snarled lightly. "**Don't taunt me. I cannot kill you, but I can make your life a living hell.**" Kairai let out another laugh.

"It's a _surprise_." He said, giggling. The Gobi let out a snarl, before turning away.

"**Fine.**" it growled, tails swishing in anger, "**If you are not going to tell me… then leave me be.**" Kairai gave one final laugh, before turning around.

"Oh _don't worry_. It'll be _pleasantly surprising!_"

Yugito was, frankly, a little worried. Kairai was acting strangely. He was a little more eccentric than usual, and just that tad bit more giddy than normal. She got the impression of a teenage girl a few days before their Sweet Sixteen party. Aside from creepy, it was almost scary. He had been like this a few times before, and that was usually when he had a crackpot scheme, or some subtle trap. There were only two conclusions she could come to; Kairai had gotten more insane, or, he was planning something. Something big… and when Kairai had something big in mind, it was usually a bad thing.

Naruto was sharing similar thoughts. They had been with Kairai long enough to learn what was normal-crazy, and what was unusual-crazy. Unusual-crazy was bad. The last time he was in that sort of mood, he made a paper plane out of explosive tags. At the surprising success, he made origami shapes. Then, he had the crackpot idea of making a book, with pages made out of explosive tags, and then giving it a fancy name, like 'Big Book of Kinjutsu', and sneak it into a library and see if anyone fell for it. Fortunately, they had managed to dissuade him from doing it. Naruto didn't know what was going on it that screwed up mind of his, and to be honest, he didn't want to know. He just made sure to give him a wide berth whenever he saw him, lest he became the target of whatever he was planning.

Ikimono had long since detested plans, but he found himself wrapped up in one. Plans weren't all bad; he just had to get over his irrational hatred… that's all. But a long-standing hatred for plans had given Ketsurakumen the necessary analytical skills to tell when someone was scheming or planning. Kairai was quite obviously scheming or planning. It in that self-satisfied and smug air had around him, like a Shogi player trapping their opponent. It unsettled him. In the month or so he had been with him, he had pegged out their individual personas. Gaara was the one of those quiet ones people always say you have to look out for. Naruto was loud and boisterous, but despite his apparent lack of common sense, his unorthodox methods were built upon cunning and craftiness.

Yugito was pragmatic and mechanical in her movements, wasting as little energy as possible. Kairai was just as loud and boisterous as Naruto, and wasn't as cunning, but far more crafty. His methods were far more than just simple unorthodox. They were, to put it lightly, _crazy_. But there was no denying his trapping abilities, even if some of them were a little… outlandish.

Gaara could feel the tension in the air. It was obvious. The others were all wary… of Kairai. Was it something that he said…? No. It was his behaviour. He was acting… oddly. Gaara didn't feel threatened by any means. No, he didn't care. If Kairai was a little more insane than usual, then Gaara couldn't really complain. He _was_ the resident psycho, and Kairai was the resident eccentric. Gaara couldn't really complain about him as much as Kairai could complain about him.

A few days after they had broken camp, a patrol of shinobi stumbled upon them. Recognizing Kairai, and remembering their fresh, new orders they immediately saluted, which effectively put an end to any offensives the other Jinchuuriki had planned. "Zetsumei Kairai! Tsuchikage-sama has politely requested that you visit him in his home, for dinner! You're comrades are invited too, I guess. Didn't say anything about others in the scroll…" He started grumbling about nothing as he continued with his patrol.

Kairai blinked. Oh _that _was _so_ him. Invite him to a calm relaxed dinner, and then he'd probably activate the next phase of his plan, and a second trap. The worst part was, Kairai was probably going to take the bait anyway. The other Jinchuuriki merely looked at Kairai awaiting his reaction. "Well… Who wants a free dinner?" He said cheerfully. All of them, minus Gaara, gave a small shudder. The glint in his eyes was bad. It was almost as if he had just accepted some unspoken challenge.

Yugito was the first to react. "What, we're going to just pop in at the Tsuchikage's compound for dinner…? It's obviously a trap!" she shouted, Kairai scratching the back of his head sheepishly. "_Weeell_, you don't _have_ to come if you don't_ want_ to…" Ikimono shrugged, letting a care-free grin slip onto his face. "I'll come." Yugito shook her head. "Don't even think of asking."

Gaara blinked. "… I'll stay." He said after a few minutes of silence. All eyes rested on Naruto now, causing him to scratch the back of his head nervously. "Um… hehehe… uh… I'll… go…" Kairai poked his tongue out at Yugito; she retaliated by grabbing it, and jerking him forward. "What's the matter…? _Cat got your tongue_?" she snapped at him. Kairai mouthed sorry as best he could, circumstances withstanding, whilst surreptitiously forming the seals for a Kawarimi. With a poof of smoke she was holding… Naruto…? For his part, the blonde Jinchuuriki panicked at the sudden switch. Kairai laughed and poked his out again. Yugito came within inches of cutting it off.

When all was quiet, Kairai rubbed his hands with barely controlled glee. The Tsuchikage had made his oh so predictable move, and Kairai would counter. He had learned his lesson from all those years. He would take the bait, but he would not do so recklessly. Oh no. He had a plan. Everybody knew he had a plan. But the Tsuchikage didn't. He wouldn't know until it was too late. By the time he found out, everything would be in motion, and he would be trapped. Of course, the only hard part was tolerating his presence. A difficult task as the two of them had never seen eye-to-eye from the moment Kairai was born.

He was going to come out on top. He _had_ to. Failure meant his grand plan would crumble. Scratch that, it would come _crashing_ _down_… on him, burying him in failure… Kairai wouldn't let himself drown in his own failure. The Tsuchikage would be the one drowning… for once.

xXx Somewhere in Earth Country xXx

Aranami unfurled the scroll, frowning as his eyes crossed over it. "… You have got to be shitting me." The Rokubi burst in raucous laughter.

"**I told you we should've taken a left!**" The Jinchuuriki felt a small tic build on his eyebrow. "Shut. Up."

xXx Plateau outside of Iwagakure xXx

"Alright, Whiskers, Nutcase; it'll be about a days travel until we reach Iwa. When we do, they'll recognize me, let us in, we go straight to the Bastard's compound, have dinner, and then we get the fuck out as fast as we fucking can." Ikimono rolled his eyes at his nickname. From the last line, he derived that was when whatever he was scheming would be set into motion, and that was of course, when shit would hit the proverbial fan.

"Naruto, Ikimono, I'm going to ask you a favour. If it looks like I'm going to go into a blind rage and kill the Tsuchikage, I ask that you restrain me. Except of course, during… _dinner_." The tone wasn't necessarily foreboding, or murderous. It wasn't even crazy. It was as if he was salivating… like a ravenous wolf with the taste of blood. He was… hungry.

"Right!" barked Naruto, giving a smart, if mocking, salute. Ikimono merely gave a grin. It was a little off and somewhat creepy, but Kairai nodded. "And don't even think about formalities. You'll ruin my reputation." He gave them a lazy grin as they made camp. Yugito and Gaara had stayed back near the border, where they were to return as fast as possible.

In four days travel, they had arrived. The stood there, waiting for the Tsuchikage to greet them. Shortly afterwards, he did. "Ah, I see you have accepted my offer!"

"Well, no freaking duh, you senile old fuck!" chirped Kairai in an overly chipper and cheery manner. The Tsuchikage gave a good-natured laugh and ran a hand through his silver hair. "You haven't changed at all, son."

With those words, the temperature seemed to drop below freezing point.

* * *

A\N: Yes, a cliff-hanger of sorts. The nature of their relationship will be explained in the next chapter, but for now, for one time only (well, maybe not), an Omake.

OMAKE!!!

"I'm glad you could make it for Christmas, son." The Tsuchikage beamed at his son. Kairai slipped on a fake smile, and half-beamed, half-subtly glared back at him. "I even got you a present!" He said grinning crookedly. In his hands was green gift-wrapped box with a blue ribbon tied on top.

Surprised, the Tsuchikage took it from his hands. "You… you actually care about me…" he sniffed, as tears of joy streamed down in his face in a melodramatic fashion. Ripping the box open, he was greeted to the sight of the Gobi's puppet form… with a cute little ribbon tied around its chest. "What the hell is this…?" He said; puppet launched itself forward, tearing at his face and chest as Kairai cheered it on. "GO FOR THE EYES! THE EYES!"

To the side, Naruto and Ikimono stared. "… He doesn't get the spirit of Christmas thing does he?"


	12. Feud: How touching

A\N: Recently bought a game (Grim Fandango, a classic Lucas Art adventure, similar to Escape from Monkey Island), and finished it. It took me a while, and had some pretty memorable quotes. It also gave me an idea for the last Jinchuuriki. Flowers, anyone?

* * *

"_So, doctor, what are the results of the autopsy?" A masked shinobi with an Iwagakure hit-aite stared across at the man dressed in the impeccable white coat. Between them, was a naked corpse of a man in his 50's, sharp, glaring light illuminating his body. "Well, time of death was about 2030 hours,"_

Kairai stared at the Tsuchikage, cold hatred burning in his eyes. Naruto and Ikimono fidgeted uneasily as the aged man returned his son's glare with cool impasse. "… Tsuchikage-sama…" The older male sighed in response, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Please, we've been over this before. Just call me 'Dad'."

_The ninja nodded. "The Hospital has already determined the time of his death."_

_The doctor shrugged. "Protocol and procedure, Masashi-san… As you have probably already realized the victim is the Yondaime Tsuchikage, real name Zetsumei Ishibei."_

Dinner was a pretty tense affair. Kairai rarely ate anything other than some slight nibbles and bites, as most of his time was occupied sending glares to the older shinobi, who merely brushed them aside. Naruto chewed slowly on a piece of crab. The food was great, but the atmosphere was stifling. Ikimono didn't seem to mind, as he ravenously devoured every dish in arms reach.

"_Cause of death…?" inquired Masashi, examining the corpse idly. The Doctor snorted. "Hypocrite." Muttered the lab-coat clad man, before composing himself, and continued with the report. "The cause of death was the puncture wound _here_."_

"Look… I just wanted to tell you something." Kairai snorted, and reached over for some of the crab Naruto was eating. "Alright, you old geezer, what do you want now? A favour...? Want us to kill someone? Oh, _no_. Let me guess… You want us to _join_ Iwagakure?!" His father shook his head.

"_Surprisingly, there were no signs of struggle at the scene, nor are there any signs of struggle on his body. No broken bones, no bruises. Not even the signs of a mildly strong grip." The Doctor gestured at the body as he spoke, adjusting it to show the lack of bruising that would be evident if force had been used. "The attacker either took him by complete surprise, or the Yondaime let it happen."_

"Can… Can I speak to you, Kairai? In private…?" He said nervously, fidgeting somewhat. Kairai blinked. His father was rarely nervous. Kairai nodded at Naruto and Ikimono's wary glances. With a few glances back to them, they left the room. "Well… Son, I just wanted to tell you…"

"_The puncture wound was incredibly accurate, or just really lucky. As you can see, the knife used wasn't meant for piercing, and was much more suited for slashing. Chakra residue has shown that it was elongated using wind chakra, causing it to pierce the other side, and probably meant to ensure death."_

"Tell me what, _Dad?_" Kairai snapped, fidgeting. He wasn't nervous, so much as he was tense… skittish. The Tsuchikage scratched the back of his head. "I… I'm sorry, son. The Daimyo wanted a weapon… a weapon to avenge the honour of Earth Country … I volunteered to train you... to raise you… I wanted to apologise for it."

"_The blade slipped in between the second and third ribs, in a downwards angle, piercing the left and right ventricles, and grazing the right atrium. When the wind chakra elongated the blade, it continued on its path, and grazed the stomach, causing minimal acid leakage."_

Kairai laughed. "You're an idiot, dad. You didn't think I'd be different, did you…? The Kage's manipulate everyone in a silent and subtle war of politics. Daimyos, who hold authority over the Kage's to a degree occasionally join the war themselves. You, were nothing but pawn, weren't you dad? I was a pawn. At least, that was the idea, wasn't it?"

"_He lost quite a bit of blood at the scene, which is to be expected. Medic's tried to resuscitate him but he was a lost cause. Either the attacker was incredibly accurate… or incredibly lucky."_

"I was supposed to be like every other pawn. Some are aware that they are manipulated, some aren't. Those that are, are _far_ too proud to admit that they are being played… but you raised me wrong, didn't you dad? You raised me to _survive_. I didn't have a pride like the others. I wasn't going to be played, and then cast aside. I was going to _live_."

"_The expression on his face is one of both mild shock, and contentment. Whatever happened there, the Tsuchikage doesn't look like he wanted to stop it." Masashi frowned. "Would you consider it a murder case?"_

"_Murder…? Perhaps… there is a slight chance the perpetrator took Tsuchikage-sama by surprise during a moment. Highly unlikely though."_

"But you know what…?" Kairai paused for a moment and suddenly embraced his father. "Apology accepted, Dad. I forgive you…" Zetsumei Ishibei's eyes widened as he felt the cold steel knife slip in between his ribs. Slowly, his lips twisted up into a smile. "… Arigatou… son…"

"_That concludes the report, Masashi-san." The Jounin nodded. He turned to leave, but froze mid-step, and turned back to look at the doctor. "Would you say that the perpetrator is to be considered a criminal?"_

Kairai slid the knife out of the dying man and wiped it on his pants. "… Goodbye, Dad." He whispered before leaving through the door. "Ikimono, Naruto. Let's go."

The other two nodded and got up, brushing themselves off. "What about the Tsuchikage…?" Naruto asked, perplexed. Kairai didn't respond.

_The doctor shrugged. "On one hand, the likely situation was an assisted suicide. On the other, he killed our Kage. Let the Council decide, I'm just a freaking doctor." Masashi nodded. "Thank you doctor… I'm afraid you will have to be silenced now. The records will state that Tsuchikage-sama was murdered… brutally." The doctor's eyes widened as a kunai embedded itself in his neck. Gurgling, he waved his hands frantically as life slipped between his fingers._

The Gobi stirred silently on Kairai's belt. "**... You killed him.**" Kairai nodded silently. "That I did." The Gobi stared up at him, ignoring the jostling as Kairai sped through the tree-tops, Naruto and Ikimono spread out in a loose formation. "**I thought you were going to leave him alive, like last time.**" Kairai shrugged.

"I changed my mind." The Gobi remained silent for a few minutes, still staring up at Kairai with its deep purple eyes. "**… You** **forgave him, didn't you?**"

Kairai faltered in mid-air, almost missing the branch. He ricocheted off of it, lunging forward at a lower angle than usual. The Gobi restrained a smirk. "**I can't believe it, you **_**actually**_** forgave him!**" Kairai completely missed the branch this time, lashing out with his hands to catch himself on the next one, and using his forward momentum and swung himself back up into the branches. Naruto stared at him for a few moments, whilst Ikimono didn't so much as bat an eyelid.

Kairai remained completely silent. The Gobi didn't make anymore snarky comments and settled for a question. "**… Why…?**" Kairai ducked under a branch and sprung forward, rolling in mid-air to land on another one. "… He was sincere." The Gobi remained silent. "**… Ignorance is bliss.**" Neither one spoke for a few more hours.

Back at the rendezvous point, Yugito and Gaara sat around a smokeless camp-fire. "… How was life in your village…?" Gaara asked tonelessly, causing Yugito to look up at the red-head. She gave a bitter smile. "I was always jealous of Kirabi, the Hachibi Jinchuuriki. He was the Raikage's brother, so he got to go away from the village." '_Away from all the hatred..._' Didn't need to be said; Gaara nodded in response. "I used to train with the logs, punching and kicking relentlessly until there was nothing left but splinters… so that maybe, just _maybe_ he might realize that I was worthy enough to have the _privilege_ of freedom. But, no… the blatancy of his favouritism was infuriating. And nobody did anything about it." Gaara idly noted that Yugito was clenching her fists hard enough to draw blood. There was the odd flicker of malice and killer intent as her eyes changed to a bright golden and back in the span of a few seconds.

"He always treated his brother like a human being… but I was never more than a weapon." '_Even though we were one and the same…_' Slowly, she regained control of her emotions and unclenched her fists "And it hurt… to be ignored in favour of someone who was essentially your equal. Someone who was different in _blood alone_…" Gaara didn't say anything; instead, he let his actions do the talking. He held out his hand as the sand that formed his **Suna Yoroi** crawled away from it, revealing the pale skin and flesh. Lightly, he gripped her shoulder. No words were spoken; they didn't need to be. It was awkward, _god_ it felt so damn awkward… yet… yet it came so naturally. Gaara rubbed soothing circles on the back of her shoulder, wishing that he knew what he should be doing.

It was to that scene that the other three arrived upon, Yugito asleep against Gaara's chest, and the red-head embarrassed and awkward, idly rubbing circles on her shoulder. He gave the others a pleading look; simultaneously requesting that they never speak of this again and that they aid the socially retarded Jinchuuriki in what to do. Wordlessly, Kairai shifted Yugito onto a mat that Ikimono unfurled. Silently, the Jinchuuriki assumed their positions around the fire, Gaara acting as the unspoken sentry.

Somewhere, by a small river running through the plains, Arainami Kokuun was greeted with the sight of a tall, gasmask-wearing man sitting at the riverbank. "**… Well, it really is a small world, isn't it?**" Kokuun just stared. The seal was quite visible, just above Tenbatsu's left cheekbone, in the shape of a whirlpool. Silently, the Sanbi Jinchuuriki looked up at the Rokubi Jinchuuriki. Wordlessly, the bubble-blower took a seat next to him. Neither spoke for hours, simply sitting there, feet in the water.

Naruto was, quite rudely in his opinion, dragged from his pleasant dream and into the sewer known as his mindscape. Well, it had slowly started to transform from a sewer into a forest; except for the part the Kyuubi was sealed in, which, coincidentally, was the part he was dragged into. Fabulous, wasn't it?

"Yo, fuzzbutt!" he called out, "What is it now…?"

"What's the matter, Naruto-dono? You never visit, never write. You don't even return my calls." The sarcasm, the creepiness, the _bastard_… only one entity had those qualities in those specific quantities present in the voice. "… Sanji." Said Naruto, cordially; Sanji's reply was mad laughter. "Oh, please stop! The Horror! The Agony! The _Neutrality_! If I don't know any better, I'd say there was a stick up your ass. Unfortunately for both of us, it's a fox." There was, surprisingly, no reply at his comment from the colossal fox. Come to think of it, there was no sign.

"… What do you want now…?" Sanji's face twisted into a bastardized version of mock hurt. The least he could've done was made it _slightly_ believable. "Oh, you wound me, Naruto-dono! How _heartless_ of you to assume that _I_, the pillar of strength in our _little__community_, would seek you out only for," he paused to make an overly dramatic gasp, "Personal gain!" Naruto glared at his far more insane double.

Slowly, the face twisted back into its usual maniacal grin. "Well, I didn't bring you here for a Tea Party. No, no, no! Kyuubi and I… well, mainly I really, have figured out when the process of fusion will finish. When it is over, Kyuubi and I will be nothing more than the symptoms of Dissociative Personality Disorder. Isn't that just _exciting_?" Naruto gave him a bland look, to which Sanji rolled his eyes. "You have no drive, no sense of humour. You're so _boring_. But onto the _reason_ I brought you here."

Naruto remained silent, staring intently at Sanji. Seeing as there was no interruptions, he continued. "_I_ would like to request a _deal_. In return for letting me out during _battle_, I will _slaughter_ any opponents that _face__us_." Naruto paused, mulling it over. Slowly he looked up at his counterpart. "On one condition… I reserve the right to decide if someone should be spared." Sanji frowned.

"… _Fine_. Then it is a _deal_. In my honest _opinion_, we should go _hunting_ for _bounties_."

"You just want to kill people."

"I will not _deny_ that, but it will fill your _pockets_ with _cash_."

Naruto blinked. Cash would be nice, as they had been scraping a living through hunting and the occasional theft. "…Fine. I'll relay your _suggestion_ to the others, and we will probably end up doing it. But for now, just shut up and stay in the dark corners of my mind."

Sanji let out a barking laugh. "Oh don't worry, I'll stay there alright. I'll be waiting Naruto-dono; you'll come back to us. Oh, you _will_."

Naruto spun on his heel and made to leave. Before he left out the door, he turned back to face Sanji. "… When will the fusion end…?"

"Oh don't _worry_. It'll come _soon_ enough!"

Naruto was awoken by Kairai's hand on his shoulder shaking him roughly. "We have to go. _Now_." Naruto frowned at him.

"Why…?" he asked, watching as Gaara's sand stretched out, gathered there equipment, and erased their tracks. "Well, you see Naruto, when you kill a Kage their village gets very, very angry." Ikimono added off-handedly. Kairai snorted.

"Try absolutely furious. We'll move northwest, up into Grass Country. From there, we'll cut through Fire Country, and hide out in Tanzaku City, while we figure out where the other three are."

"What the hell are we going to do in Tanzaku City?" Naruto asked, staring at him incredulously. Yugito nodded. "Naruto has a point. If we're going to settle down in that place, we'd need a steady supply of income." Kairai nodded thoughtfully, stroking his chin in a thoughtful manner. "Why, Yugito! I am shocked and appalled that you would believe that I, the mastermind, didn't have that part covered!"

Having been exposed to his eccentricity for two years now, none of them reacted. "There are multiple ways to make a living in Tanzaku City! For starters, there's gambling. Don't give me that look! I meant _rigged_ gambling. We _are_ ninja. There's also stealing and… Naruto, don't look so hurtful. We can also go Bounty Hunting!"

Naruto could _feel_ Sanji grinning… "Naruto… why are you grinning like that…?" Kairai deadpanned, pointing at the somewhat bloodthirsty grin. Naruto blinked and turned it into his usual exuberant one. "What? Grinning like what Kairai…?" Sanji's raucous laughter rang throughout his mind. '_Ass…_' Sanji merely laughed harder.

"You ought to focus, Naruto-dono! Or I might just _slip__in_!"

Kairai shrugged Naruto's smile off and shifted the backpack so it was a bit more comfortable. "Well… Let's go!" Kairai said, grinning as he sped off into the trees. Yugito shook her head. "Moron…" and leaped up after him. Ikimono shrugged and sank into the ground, preferring to follow them underground. Gaara and Naruto shared a look before speeding after them, Gaara's sand acting as a rake behind them, disguising their tracks.

Arainami glanced over at the silent gas-mask wearing Jinchuuriki. He had little doubt that the other man had recognized him for what he was, but they had spent the last day or so merely sitting there; Arainami would eat and sleep every now and then, and Tenbatsu just… sat there. Wasn't he starving…? Well, maybe he could try reaching out to him. "… Would you like some?" he said offhandedly, holding out a tray of onigiri. Tenbatsu turned his head to face him, before detaching the lower part of his mask. '_So he _can_ eat…_' He took the offered piece of food and placed it in his mouth, before re-attaching the lower part. "**… Well… that was productive.**"

"… What's your name?" Arainami spoke up suddenly, getting tired of the perpetual silence. Tenbatsu didn't speak. He pointed at the water, and it rose, forming the kanji for his name. "… Okay then… I'm Arainami. Arainami Kokuun, Jinchuuriki to the Rokubi." Tenbatsu held up three of his fingers. '_Would it kill him to speak…?_' It was going to be a long, long day. Maybe even week… or month…whatever it was, it was going to be _long_… and mainly silent. Arainami liked silent; he could work with it.


	13. Interlude: Silence of the Strong

A\N: Please, I deeply apologise for thelack of real chapter considering how long it's been. I've been suffering a strong streak of Writers Block but I think I can break it soon.

To be honest, this oneshot's been lying around for a long time but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to upload it.

* * *

Silence. All that come out of his mouth, or the lack thereof. Utter silence. No words, no grunts. No screams of agony, no cries of rage. Pure, unadulterated silence. Only the weak cried. Only the weak screamed. Only the weak needed to hear the sounds of their own voices. _Weak_.

Those in Kiri were not weak. And if they were, they either became strong, or died. Not many ninja died in Kiri's training, despite popular belief. The weak were already dead, unable to stand life on the streets, very few slipping through the clutches of the brutal mentality that infected Kirigakure down to its very roots. The poison of bloodshed.

Kirigakure epitomized Natural Selection. On the streets, where virtually all the populace lived, ninja and clan alike… even the Mizukage didn't have a fancy tower; he just had a small fortified, unassuming building on the water's edge with most of the actual rooms underwater. Everybody shared in the tainted blood of Kirigakure. It held them together, despite all odds. Everybody had to survive, so people formed groups. These groups formed alliances, and those alliances formed the Seven Clans. Clans formed even more alliances, and each Clan appointed a member as one the Seven Swordsmen. It was a surprisingly strong democracy in a surprisingly brutal country.

Theoretically, the Seven Swordsmen were the Kirigakure Council. Instead of the doddering old fools other countries were so fond of using, Kirigakure used it's strongest fighters. All other more mundane matters were handled by the elders.

But, there was of course, one flaw in the otherwise perfect system. _Anybody_ could be one of the Seven Swordsmen, provided they wielded a bladed weapon of sorts (And even then, Kisame had managed to make it in because he killed anybody who disagreed with his statement that Samehada had blades). So, it was really more of the Seven Edged-weapon wielding People, but the Seven Swordsmen had a much better ring to it. Occasionally, a foreigner took the position as a member, often unintentionally by beating their predecessor in a fight (so long as they got enough time to tell them of their new found responsibility before dying) and even then, Kirigakure did not like foreign members. But they did not do much against them, for they had earned their place.

Like any council, they were primarily a power-check against the Mizukage, who was chosen by the previous one. Or challenged, killed and succeeded. The Seven Swordsmen had decided to revolt against the Daimyo and the Mizukage, after he had denied their suggestion to remand the age old tradition of anybody becoming a Swordsman. The Mizukage was big on traditions as was the Daimyo, but that was mainly because part of the suggestion was that the Swordsmen could deny a Kage's appointment (they decided that the Third Mizukage was too much of a useless flop, and they didn't want another one). So, civil war tore Kirigakure apart.

And poor not-so-little ever-silent Tenbatsu got caught in the middle. He followed orders from the Mizukage and Kirigakure indiscriminately; even if they conflicted or contradicted. He'd be protecting a small bastion in the Village, and then smash it to the ground. He'd protect a VIP, and then snap his or her neck just a few seconds later. After the Seven Swordsmen lost and were driven out, the Mizukage wanted to ensure total loyalty from dear old silent Tenbatsu. With torture. Lots, and lots of bloody torture. And Tenbatsu didn't say a thing. He followed orders.

Strong ninja followed orders. Tenbatsu was strong; he always would be.


	14. Transform: Cleaning out the House

Bubbles floated in the air idly, as soft eyes watched them drift. Glassy eyes stared absently, unfocused, as if dreaming. Soft eyes turned sharp, and moved to stare at Glassy eyes, who in turn, didn't move.

Kokuun sighed. This… this was getting nowhere. _Fast_. The giant just didn't speak. No words, nothing but little gestures. It was like playing Extreme Charades. That tiny tilt, that almost unnoticeable nod, they all added up; misinterpret one, _one_ tiny gesture, and 'Are you hungry?' becomes a nasty insult.

Sighing tiredly, he watches the giant stare blankly in front of him. He wondered idly… what was he thinking…?

xXx In Tanzaku City xXx

"_Now remember, our plan is to steal the money by 'winning'. Or, if all else fails, we'll rob the Casino in broad daylight. We'll use whatever skills necessary to get the money we need._

"_I can track cards." Naruto said, nervous with the tension that hovered in the atmosphere of the dimly light and somewhat smoky bar. "Great, you do that." Kairai said, smiling in that weird way of his._

"_Now, if we've all decided what we've done, regardless of whether have or not, let's go do this."_

Kairai's eyes curved upwards as he raked in the chips. "Hey, don't look at me like that guys… I can't help that Lady Luck favours me." He said. '_Nor can I help the fact that you guys can't tell a genjutsu from reality if it had a bright neon sign._'

Naruto was having just as much luck at winning. He was at another Poker table, playing with against a few other players and a busty blonde. He watched as the dealer took the cards back and shuffled them, watching the cards closely and tracking their movements. The Dealer dealt the cards to everyone and bets were made. Naruto raised, not even looking at his cards.

'_The blonde woman has a King, Queen, Jack and an Ace, all of them Spades; she'll discard her three for a Ten… of Diamonds, making her a straight. The guy in the shades only has a king, he's bluffing. Cyclops over there, he's got three of a kind. If I discard my Jack, the dealer will give another one… of hearts. That'll finish off my flush nicely._'

The round proceeded just as Naruto predicted, and he raised again. Shades folded, and both the Busty Blonde (or BB for short) and Cyclops called. They revealed their hands, and Naruto chuckled to himself as he raked in the chips. BB seemed eager to continue despite her shrinking pile of chips, and Cyclops decided to leave the match, clearly feeling he had no more luck.

BB looked at him and grinned. "It's on brat." Cyclops remained silent. Naruto smiled at them. Fun.

Ikimono had decided to transform himself into a girl. He thought it would be fun. Rigging card games and Roulette wheels was fun and all… but it wasn't _interesting_. So, he did the thing he loved most.

He fucked with peoples plans. The Casino owner, oh the plans he had. Grandeur, piles of money… beautiful women. The Infamous Sucker had come into town and ventured into his Casino so he was expecting major profits. Hah. Ikimono might as well entertain him with the prospect of two out of three plans succeeding. Money, beautiful women… money that'd be stolen from right under his nose and a stunningly beautiful woman that was really an attractive but not necessarily handsome guy (He _could_ transform his face at will). Oh the expression on his face… it would undoubtedly be _priceless_. So priceless, it wouldn't cost him a single ryo.

Ikimono fiddled with 'her' dress. Jeez, the breeze was really… breezy. How did Yugito get around in these things? Oh yeah, she wore pants. Heh. Tomboy. The high heels, Ikimono found, came to 'her' naturally. It was somewhat disturbing. '_Maybe I was a born a woman and just transformed myself into a man subconsciously._'

"**Or maybe you were just born to cross-dress.**" Ikimono mentally smacked the Kaku with 'her' handbag. "**See? You're so girly.**" 'She' settled for rolling 'her' eyes. '_Whatever. Just don't make come down there and turn you into a new belt or something._'

The Casino Owner was a small man, with a goatee beard and greasy ponytail. "Hey, hunk…" Ikimono whispered in his ear before transforming back to his ordinary form, "… Where's the safe?" He said, grinning from ear to ear even as the other man seized up. "Y-y-y-you're a MA—" Ikimono clamped his hand around his mouth and hoisted him up so they were eye-level. "Are you going to tell me or not…?" he said, bored of playing games. The man was whimpering and stuttering, constantly repeating the phrase "I just made out with a male…" over and over. Growing tired of his incessant babbling and his damper on Ikimono's otherwise happy mood, he knocked him out, and hid him under the desk. To avoid any intrusions, he transformed himself into the now unconscious Casino Owner.

It took a while, but he found a safe behind a bookshelf. "Combination… combination…" He shrugged and ripped the entire safe out of the wall, sealed it into a storage scroll, and transformed himself back into the 'lady' that had seduced the owner in the first place. He left the office, went to the ladies room, and transformed into himself again. Leaving the toilets as discretely and stealthily as possible, he tracked down Yugito. "I think we should leave now. Don't want to burn too much money." He said, smiling. Yugito eyed him carefully, trying to decipher what he'd been up to. He surreptitiously patted the scroll and Yugito realised he had probably stolen something.

Great. She nodded, cashed in her chips and left. It took a little longer to find Naruto, who simply looked at them before cashing in his chips. Kairai had already done so, having watched them find Naruto.

Before they could leave, a few security guards accosted them. The Casino Owner had been awoken by his secretary, and had immediately recognised Ikimono. "You caused this, you deal with it." Kairai whispered to Ikimono. He smiled in reply, the single expression all the answer he needed to give.

Sanji cackled in Naruto's mind, doubling over with unexplained mirth. "Oh, just you watch and see, Kokou. Things are going to get a little… _interesting._" He burst into laughter, and rolled along the ground. "**Indeed.**" The Kyuubi muttered, sniffing lightly. The mix of both his and the pitiful mortal that constituted his container was… unexpected. Whilst the similar traits were evident, the blending of them was most surprising. Who knew that if you mixed Bloodthirsty Demon with Childish if somewhat intelligent, Prankster you get a Bloodthirsty Lunatic?

He supposed it was rational though. He was as playful as Naruto… only twisted by Kyuubi's thirst for blood.

xXx Somewhere in Earth Country xXx

Arainami stared at the Weasel in his mindscape, silently accusing her of wasting his time. "**It's strange. I didn't sense the Sanbi.**" Kokuun raised an eyebrow.

"The Sanbi…?" The Weasel coiled around the post that represented the seal.

"**The Jinchuuriki you just found, fool. It's the Sanbi.**" Kokuun frowned.

"You didn't sense him…?" The Weasel bared it's teeth at his almost mocking tone.

"**I don't know why, so don't bother asking. Perhaps the seal is strong, or perhaps the Sanbi has just been weakened over time. I only detected his chakra a day or so before you found him. Which means that last signal I sensed is the Yonbi.**"

Arainami rolled his eyes at her response. "Whatever." The Weasel flicked its tails warningly. "**Heed my words, and heed them well. Watch yourself around the Yonbi, or you may find yourself in an early grave.**" He smirked at the warning.

"Oh come now. You're the mighty Rokubi aren't you? You shouldn't be" he was cut off when her tails slammed in front of him. "**ENOUGH! The Yonbi may be weaker then me, but his Jinchuuriki is by no means below you.**"

"… What should I be afraid of?"

"**Bubbles and lightning are all well and good, but where the flowers grow have many men stood. Vines and leaves encroach on all, as the poison petals slowly fall. Watch yourself, my vessel, or you may find yourself as fertilizer.**"

Arainami snorted. "If you say so, oh mighty Rokubi." He turned around and left the Six-tailed Weasel to her mutterings.

Afraid of the Jinchuuriki? Hah.

xXx

Kairai gave Ikimono a blank stare. "I do hope your happy now." He remarked dryly. The group of Jinchuuriki had bunched together, with their backs to each other, surrounded by at least twenty ninja from Iwa. "If it wasn't for you're little stunt, we would've avoided our dear friends." The Jinchuuriki in question simply gave a small smile.

"Hey, hey… Remember our little deal…?" Naruto was blinked before sighing. '_Yeah, yeah. Enjoy._' He felt himself switch places with the psychotic half-breed.

One of the Iwa-nin threw a punch, his fist colliding with the log left behind by Sanji's replacement technique. Appearing behind his would-be attacker, he thrust a wind-covered hand through his chest before using the replacement technique once more to evade a spear of earth. He re-appeared behind the caster and killed them with a strike to the neck, enjoying the crunching sound of shattered bones.

"My, my, my! You're pretty fast for a kid aren't ya?" The shinobi was a man in a Iwa Jounin vest, dirty blonde hair spiked backwards and a pair thick, almost cleaver-like swords. "Name's Takechi, but my friends call me 'Raishini', and you're about to find out why…" There was a small flash of light, and Sanji had to roll forward to avoid being cleaved in half. '_Lightning Death. Fitting._'

"Do you like it? It's my very own technique. I call it Raipo." There was another small flash of light, and Sanji wasn't fast enough to avoid the sizeable gash on his arm. The second strike was enough to cut quite deeply into his shoulder.

"It's very nice." Sanji commented offhandedly, as the flowing red chakra of the Kyuubi healed his wounds. "Oh-ho-ho! The ability to regenerate eh? Can you heal as fast as I can…" a flash of light and he was behind him, ready to cleave, "… chop?"

Sanji used a replacement to get some distance. "Care to find out?" Instead of appearing behind him, he flashed in front of him. The unexpected angle earned him a deep gash along Sanji's stomach.

Sanji ended up backpedalling, attempting to avoid the relentless flurry of death. "Tch." Takechi, for his part merely grinned madly.

"You can't run from me!" He used his signature technique to flash next to him, and slice a chunk out of his arm.

He threw his head and laughed madly. "Isn't it great? I created this technique… so I would be faster then anyone else. And, now… now with that fucking bastard who_ slaughtered _mypeople, _I_ _am_ the fastest man _alive_." His face was twisted into an insane grin, and another flash and Sanji was missing a large slice of his arm.

Sanji bared his teeth. "Tch." The red chakra of the Kyuubi flared up and knitted the flesh back together. "You call this cutting? It's so weak. You think you can kill me like this?" The self-proclaimed 'Lightning Death' merely grinned.

"I can go faster. Here, let me…" There was his trademark flash of light, "… show you." Sanji winced and dived forward, clutching the lumps of flesh connected to bone that passed as his arm. "Fuck you." Takechi merely widened his grin.

The small dance continued for a few more times before Sanji started to grin for no apparent reason. It was slightly clearer, after Takechi attempted to flash behind him and cleave him in two. Sanji, reacting quickly, shoved a kunai into his assailant's stomach.

"Tch. I can see your movements. You're not so fast." The 'Raishini' glowered.

"I'll show you. I'll show all of you fuckers! I'm the fastest! _Me_! Nobody fucking else!" Sanji blinked. '_Huh… Struck a nerve…._' Static seemed to crackle up and down Takechi's limbs. "I, AM, RAISHINI! **RAIJINPO**!" Instead of a flash of light, there was a crack of thunder.

Sanji gasped, clutching his chest, as a huge gash appeared, from his left shoulder to his waist '_I didn't see_' His thoughts were cut off as his body fell in two clutched his heart, breathing hard. Wincing, he felt some of his arm bones crack. '_I… I won't be moving for a while…_' He grinned slightly. At least he got the smug little bastard. "Ya know, for someone so fast, you are so _slow_."

The mocking tone… _that tone_… he could _feel_ the smug grin. "What, you thought you would get me so easily?" Sanji dangled his legs from the tree branch he was resting on. Takechi merely glared at him, unable to move. "Huh. That last technique… it really fucked ya up didn't it?"

"What… I killed… I fucking killed you…" He gasped out, still gripping his chest.

"Psh. Like I said. You're fucking slow." He pointed to the 'body', that had simply become a puddle of water. "A… Water Clone…?"

"Yup… A simple, C-ranked technique beat your A-rank…? B? Maybe even low S-rank." Takechi growled. "Oh don't be sad. Like I said, you're too slow for someone so fast. You never noticed… from the very beginning… A Water Clone… you have no idea how hard it is to keep it alive."

Takechi started to struggle to reach out and maybe strangle Sanji. "Oh don't bother straining yourself. I can tell broken bones when I see them… and those… are nasty looking bones."

"Fuck you." Sanji laughed.

"Oh, tell me how you _really_ feel. So fast, yet so slow… the only death that's lightning fast will be your own. Show some gratitude for that, will ya?" He hopped down, as Takechi snarled at him. "**RAIJINPO!**" He roared, and another crack of thunder could be heard across the battle field. Sanji merely flicked his wrist back, backhanding Takechi in the face with a sickening crunch. "Tch. Your bones are like glass. I suppose the technique you used puts them under a lot of stress. You could barely manage two, but, you can't even move anymore. You've fizzled out."

xXx With Kairai xXx

"You seem fairly confident that your friends will live through this, traitor." His opponent was a tall man, with steel gauntlets. The hallmark of an Iwa Wind-specialist.  
"Oh, they'll be fine." The taller man peered down at Kairai with narrowed eyes.

"If you say so." He slammed his fist down, the surrounding wind chakra crashing into the ground and sending a hail of rocks flying up. "Whoopsies!" The Gobi jinchuuriki flipped backwards to avoid the small storm of earth and wind. "Geez… Not very nice aren't we?" The taller man merely grunted, and threw an uppercut.

"Oh come now, can't we talk about this?"

"You're a traitor." Kairai leant back to avoid the swing, and felt his head snap to the side as the current of wind smacked into his face. "There's nothing for us to talk about." Kairai leapt back as the man threw a couple of heavy-handed blows at him.

"Well, how about your girlfriend Masashi?" He said trying to appear cheerful as he dived forward, dodging the swing. "… She died in a mission." Kairai leapt up, flicking his legs out to avoid the crashing blow. "Congratulations." He said dryly, as he punched his opponent in the face. "… You're blows are weak. You're still no good at manipulating wind."

"Tch." Kairai snorted, and slammed his foot into Masashi's face. "And you're still too slow to dodge a drifting kite. Admittedly, you're a brick wall."

Kairai let out a gasp when the wind-coated fist slammed into his stomach. "… I'm sorry Zetsumei. But you are a traitor." The second fist sent Kairai spinning long enough for the third to crash into his face. "And you… _really_ don't pull your punches." Masashi smiled dryly and swung his fists, smashing the ground and anything else unfortunate enough to get in his way. "I try, Zetsumei."

Kairai gave him a small smile. "You do… don't you." Kairai flipped over a punch and slammed his shin into his face. "Business and all that, you know how it is Masashi…"

The silver-haired criminal landed on his feet gracefully, and froze. His body flickered, like a TV image with bad reception, and phased into two identical images. This process continued until there was a small army of Kairai's. Masashi raised an eyebrow. "An army of clones…?" Kairai's smile widened.

"No. Just an Army of One."

All clones simultaneously swung their fists, one connecting with Masashi's face, sending him sliding across the ground. "Why… that was pathetic! Which one of me did that?" A Kairai declared standing on one of his counterparts' shoulders as to scan the crowd. "Wasn't me. I think it was him." Another one pointed his finger at the one standing next to him. "Liar!"

Masashi touched his sore cheek. '_That… that attack was real. This is a genjutsu. All those clones are fake… and he's using genjutsu to create the sounds. Tch. Just like him._'

One of the Kairai's paused. "Oh no, lads. He's got that look in his eye. You know, the one where he's unravelled our master scheme."

"You mean he found out we were trying to steal his shoes?"

"Yes, he… Wait what the hell?!"

Masashi clapped his hands and channelled his chakra. A gust of wind tore through the enclave of Kairai's. "Oh dear, hang on lads!"

"Easy for you to say!"

"HEY! LET GO!"

The clones… they seemed solid. Kairai probably wasn't among them. Co-ordinating his illusion from behind the scenes, and adjusting it to make them seem realistic. Tch.

"Well… is everyone alright?" The replies could be summed up and averaged into 'we just got blown around like a ragdoll, you fuckwit. How do you think we feel?'

"Alright then lads. Co-ordinated attack, manoeuvre #63. It's in the handbook if you don't know."

The entire little mob grinned and rushed at Masashi. "Nine hundred and ninety nine fakes in the mob, nine hundred and ninety nine fakes!" They sang mockingly, as Masashi found he was being hammered with blows from all sides. '_Impossible! They're not all physical. It's a genjutsu… but how is he doing this?_'

"Man, who threw that right hook?"

"Oh sorry, that was me."

"Don't be. It was pretty good."

The cacophony of Kairai's was really grating his nerves. He whipped his palms out, and spun in a single circle. Chakra channelled through his hands created a whirlwind, vanquishing the clones as their flimsy insubstantial bodies weren't ready for it.

Masashi blinked. A single Kairai stood there. "Impressive… are they not…?" Kairai said idly, holding out his hand as tiny specks of dust flew around. "Nothing more than wind in a human shape with a flimsy genjutsu on top…" Still panting, Masashi growled at him. "This is another illusion isn't it?"

Kairai smiled in an uncharacteristically soft way. "No, Masashi. This is reality." Hairlines cracks appeared in his face, as if he was wearing a porcelain mask that was breaking under pressure. "The cold hard reality is," Like a spider's web, the cracks spread, "that those Kairai's were not clones. Indeed," The top left third of Kairai's face fell off, like loose shards of glass, revealing silver fur and a piercing mauve eye. Half of what appeared to be a crescent moon mark could be seen in the middle of his forehead where the face and fur met. "Zetsumei Kairai never existed."

Masashi froze. Those eyes were unmistakable, and the mark was the icing on the cake. The Gobi no Hokou. "**W**ha**t'**s t**h**e **ma**tt**e**r?" His voice flickered from Kairai's to the deep, almost sweet in an evil way, voice of the Gobi. "**I **ju**s**t **wa**nt t**o** **p**la**y**."

Kairai lazed about, like a panther on a tree branch, the Gobi-puppet plopping down on his chest. "**Tch. So easily fooled.**" The Gobi muttered, watching as Masashi ran around, dodging a Phantom demon. Kairai rolled his eyes. "What do you expect? Nobody can ever truly let go of the fear that the demon has taken over." The Gobi raised a non-existent eyebrow. "**Even you?**" Kairai smiled bitterly and hopped down without warning. "There is a fine line separating the sane, and the insane, Gobi." The possessed shell of reinforced wood needed no other answer.

Masashi had probably tired himself out if the panting heap of sweat-drenched clothes and matted hair were any indication. "**From one monster to another**." The Gobi said idly, watching as Kairai stood over the passed out form of the Iwa Jounin. "Just business." His voice was almost remorseful as the blade of wind materialized in his hand. He brought it down quickly, splashing blood all over his legs. Kairai gazed almost forlornly at his sandals.

"Huh… these were fairly new." The Gobi snickered.

"**I suppose you could say they've been blooded.**" Kairai kicked the puppet lightly, which in itself was enough to send it flying a small into someone else.

That someone, happened to be Naruto/Sanji. His hand flew out and grabbed the Gobi in mid-air. "My, oh my… you shouldn't throw such fragile things around, boss. It might… _break_." Kairai raised an eyebrow at 'Naruto's' voice.

"Oh, please, boss, don't look at me like that. You might hurt my feelings." He frowned. "You're not Naruto." Sanji laughed raucously.

"Ten points to Captain Obvious! That earns you a Gold Star." The Gobi blinked at him, and shrugged. "You're definitely not the Kyuubi."

"Laaadies, and gentlemen! He's on a roll! Can I get some applause here?" Sanji clapped in a mocking and sarcastic manner.

"Tell you what, _boss_. I'll let you in a little secret~!" Sanji leant in close, Kairai doing the same. "The name's Sanji, or so I'm told." Kairai was about to ask another question when Sanji grinned, and threw Kairai to the side. A small burst of wind knocked away a hail of shuriken. "Tsk, tsk, lack of awareness earns you _-30 _points boss! I'm going to have to keep you back for extra lessons." Kairai growled, and watched as Sanji sliced the offending ninja in half with a blade of wind. "Lesson one, boss. I'm on your side, like it or not. Lesson two, that won't stop me from killing you if you get in our way. If I think, even if it's just for a second, that you threaten us… _**I'll fucking kill you.**_"

To emphasize his point, a small flurry of wind sliced up the ground in front him. Kairai smiled. "That's nice. Teamwork and Co-operation are the heart of our little team." Sanji grinned.

"I suppose you could count me in… if you haven't already." Sanji smiled softly.

"Tch. Looks like the fight is over. See ya 'round… boss." The eyes faded to Naruto's cerulean blue. Naruto simply blinked and glanced around. "Is it over?"

Yugito wiped blood from her kunai and Gaara's sand retracted into his gourd. "Yeah, I'd say so… Hey, where's Ikimono?" One of the bodies got up, and palmed their face for a second or two. The smiling face of Ikimono dressed in the clothes of a typical Iwa-nin greeted them.

"Heh. I was playing dead so well, I started to think I had died." Kairai sweat-dropped, but regained composure. "Well… I suppose we should incinerate the bodies and leave." Ikimono saluted.

"I'll bury them!" He clapped his hands and slammed them to the ground. Tendrils of earth rose up and wrapped around the bodies, cocooning them and dragging them down to god knows where. Kairai raised an eyebrow. "Well… that works too."

"Move out…" The Jinchuuriki blurred into the trees.

Sanji strode around the Cage that held Kyuubi. "Ne, ne… how much longer?" The Kyuubi sniffed. "**A hundred at best.**" Sanji raised an eyebrow. "… And at worst?"

Kyuubi grinned. "**A hundred thousand.**" Sanji froze.

"… Fuck that." Kyuubi laughed.

"**I control not the flow. I merely watch it pass by.**" Sanji paced around.

"… Can we speed it up?" Kyuubi grunted.

"**It matters not to me.**" Sanji growled but made no other motion to oppose him. He paced frantically, back and forth, muttering. "Fuck this. There must be a way to make it go faster!" Kyuubi shrugged. Sanji's eyes glistened with manic glee. "I hate being trapped in this damned body…" Kyuubi laughed.

"**Quiet little spirit. You'll have your chance at freedom soon enough.**" Sanji glared at him. "Fuck you. First, you ate my soul. Whoop-dee-fucking doo. At least you were interesting. Then, big Mister Death God sent you into him, because you were a fucking tool. I clawed my way past thousands of souls to get this chance at freedom. Fuck. Waiting." The Kyuubi smiled.

* * *

A\N: Yes, I finally updated

Just as an elaboration, Sanji is/was the soul of a person Kyuubi had eaten long ago. During the seals process of fusion, as stated pieces of their personalities were also used and formed Sanji; the piece from Kyuubi just so happened to be Sanji's soul. After a long time in the Kyuubi's stomach, he slowly forgot his name, his family, but he's held onto his skills, as well as his chakra affinity. If you haven't guessed, he was a shinobi before Kyuubi snapped him up.

Well, who wants to guess his chakra affinity?


	15. Genius: Hunting the Swords

The Godaime Mizukage sighed, and pinched the bridge of her nose. This… was bad. The Yondaime Mizukage had been in Akatsuki's pocket this entire time. After disposing of the brainwashed leader, there were many errors to be corrected. Firstly, they had to recall Tenbatsu, and try and convince him to return. It was doubtful, considering they had tried to kill him. "Ao… take a team and track him down. Be nice about it." She ordered, the Cyclops nodding before rushing out the door.

She dragged a trunk out, and opened it. It had velvet lining, and what appeared to be a polished steel battering ram rested in the padding. She had known Tenbatsu for quite some time. From his first days as an apprentice to the Seven Swordsmen, to the hollow husk he was now. This was a present the Seven Swordsmen had bought him; it wasn't exactly a blade, but the battering ram would be quite deadly when used by the giant jinchuuriki.

The steel rod was twice as wide as she was; she pitied anyone who felt the full power of Tenbatsu directed through the master-crafted weapon. It had various, much smaller rods jutting out to grip it, and presumably whirl it around to crush the opponents.

Now that the corrupt Yondaime had been removed from power, it was safe to recall Tenbatsu and, hopefully, re-humanize him. It could take years, but if all went well, the quiet and serious giant would be back to normal. She doubted it, but at the very least he wouldn't be so hollow inside.

She shivered. She was there when he was finally allowed out of the Interrogation Room. Those eyes… they still haunted her, even after the five years Tenbatsu had spent abroad. Those eyes were hollow and almost glassy… like a walking corpse. It was small wonder the Yondaime sent Tenbatsu away. Nobody could stand his hollow stare.

All she could do was hope that even Tenbatsu's unwavering loyalty hadn't been crushed by the Yondaime.

xXx In Wave Country xXx

A tall man with short spiky green hair and a pair of furry earmuffs, twirled a large claymore in his hands. "Tch. It's only been ten years since we broke up and you're already dead Zabu-Zabu? That's pathetic. Even Yashi is still alive."

The man eyed the grave distastefully. "The sword's missing…" He glanced at the second mound. "Oya… that must be Haku-chan." He smiled, but his voice was devoid of any semblance of life.

"Tch. So you heard too?" The voice was rough, harsh and aggressive. The man's lips curved into a smile. "It is my job to be the first on the scene, after all. Zabu-Zabu was always a little too secretive, so it took a while. How long have you known?" He could feel the grin stabbing into his back. "Longer then you."

The swordsman tilted his heads to the side, eyes half-lidded in a bored expression. "Wao… you sound so sure of that." There was a blur of movement, and the claymore was slammed against a large bandaged zanbatou. "Hoshigaki 'Daimyo Killer' Kisame, S-rank, formerly of Kirigakure. Known as the 'Bijuu without a tail'; leader of the Seven Swordsmen and wielder of the most powerful of all the swords. Samehada. Murdered the Daimyo of Mizu no Kuni and all of his retainers."

Kisame grinned at him. "Hanshou Meikyou, the 'Night Stalker'. Head of the Kiri Hunter-nin Corps, and the one tasked with cleaning up after the Swordsmen; wielder of the claymore 'Reiji'. Attempted to kill the Yondaime Mizukage, but got pardoned after he was deposed." Hanshou shrugged carelessly, twisting Reiji and shoving Samehada to the side.

"If Yashi didn't tip them off, I would've succeeded." Kisame snorted, and the two swordsmen had a staring contest.

"Aren't you going to try and reclaim Samehada as well…?" Hanshou rolled his eyes.

"You know as well as I do that my duties aren't to actively hunt down rogues. I'm only here to make sure that the worthy get the swords." Kisame laughed. The pair put their swords away, and took on a more cordial atmosphere. "Ao has ordered me to bring back Tenshi-chan." Kisame gave him an amused stare. "Tracking seal, built-in to the containment seals so we can pinpoint his exact location at any time."

Kisame snorted. Hanshou rolled out a scroll, and placed his hand on it. Chakra pumped into it and formed a map, with a big, glowing gasmask showing where Tenbatsu was. "Wao… I appear to have lost my map, Kisame-danna. Such a shame. Ao will be mad, but I will endure." Hanshou smiled, and left.

The Seven Swordsmen were loyal to one thing and one thing alone. Their fellow swordsmen. Betraying their village was quite a simple thing to do. They did it on a regular basis; the village just got used to it.

It seemed strange to keep on operatives that practiced routine betrayals, but it was simply a fact of life. Without the Seven Swordsmen, Kirigakure would be pathetic compared to the other four Great Ninja Nations. And the Swordsmen knew it.

Kisame studied the map. He chuckled. The Sanbi wasn't their assigned Bijuu but, hey. If you can catch a fish, catch the fish. It didn't matter if you were after salmon, some trout wouldn't kill you. He rolled the scroll up and stuffed into his cloak.

He had a big shark to catch… maybe bigger then himself. That would be fun. Very fun.

xXx Somewhere in Iwagakure xXx

Tenbatsu felt an itch on his face. That was odd. Due to his extreme introverted tendencies (the water-filled suit), he had little in the way of skin irritation. The mask itself was filled with water, as special seals in the re-breather converted air to water. Whilst Tenbatsu was capable of breathing air and oxygen like an ordinary human, he felt much more comfortable immersed in the water. It did make eating kind of odd though.

It was the seal that was specifically itching. The seal was an intricate piece of work, designed to look like a net. His companion was currently sleeping silently. Tenbatsu cocked his head to the side, and watched his chest rise and fall with every breath.

People seemed so calm when they were asleep. It was odd. They could be so flustered and rushed whilst awake but the moment their eyes slid shut they were at peace with the world.

Tenbatsu was never at peace with the world… rather, the world was never at peace with him.

The telltale crunch of twigs and dry leaves caused his head to snap towards the entrance of the cave. "I see you still don't like showing your face." The man had light blue skin, and dark blue hair. The symbol for Kirigakure gleamed despite the long slash through its centre. The Sanbi stirred deep within him and the large sword on the intruder's back seemed to rumble in harmony.

"Samehada is still wary of you. I thought he'd get used to it." Tenbatsu raised his fists in a defensive stance. The man chuckled. It was not a nice sound.

"Raiton: Raiyari!" A spear of condensed lightning sped towards him, but he waved the sword at it. "Samehada doesn't like the taste of lightning chakra, but he's too hungry to care. I'm surprised, you're travelling with somebody. I suppose that little brat of your handler got himself killed."

The lazy Jinchuuriki frowned, but his companion didn't say a word. Without moving a muscle, a pair of water dragons ripped themselves from his re-breather, rushing at the blue-haired male. "Tch." Another wave of the bandaged sword, and the twin dragons dissolved into water. Before the shark-like man could react, the water rippled, and as the drops fell, they all spiked out towards him. He managed to avoid a fatal wound, but he had been slashed and stabbed in a variety of areas. "… Heh… not bad…"

Hoshigaki Kisame grinned. Then he started blitzing through a long chain of seals. Lightning crackled along Arainami's hands and Tenbatsu was about to launch another pair of dragons before their opponent's voice reached their ears. "_Sakashima no Suiryuudan: Shakuzen!"_

Arainami launched another spear of lightning, but Kisame brushed it off. _'There was no chakra behind that technique. What the hell did it do?_' Before he could ponder further, he felt numerous bones break as a gloved fist crashed into his back. Kisame's roaring laughter reached his ears, and through a sole bleary eye he could see Tenbatsu's impassive form. All things considered, it was pretty intimidating to see him from below. "That's it little Angel. Crush him." Kisame continued laughing, but he stopped when Tenbatsu slammed his fist into his stomach.

Silently, Tenbatsu picked up the agonised Jinchuuriki, and hurled him towards the S-rank criminal. "Ugh… What… the hell is he doing?" Arainami muttered, feeling the Raijuu repair his wounds fervently. Kisame grunted, and Samehada regurgitated some chakra to mend his bones. "Must've used the wrong seal… Was it Tiger or Dragon? Arainami paid him no heed and decided evading the now-quite hostile giant was much more important.

A pair of dragons crashed into his previous location, before they turned into spikes again. The giant Jinchuuriki was a fairly powerful practitioner of Suiton jutsu it seemed. He supposed it made sense. The shark-like shinobi attempted to strike him, but was repelled with a punch. Arainami took the chance and shot another spear at Kisame, rewarded with the acrid stench of burnt flesh.

He had no idea what had happened to his name-less companion, but at the very least he was still fighting the intruder. Better a 3-way then a 2-on-1.

"Oi. Sharkface. What hell did you do to Gasmask over there?" Kisame snorted.

"Figures he didn't tell you his name. And why should I tell you, guppy?" Arainami felt his eyebrow twitch. "Guppy…? Raiton: Koukyou no Raijin!"

Kisame jumped back to avoid the miniature storm of lightning that seemed to be following him. It was a small black cloud that kept shooting out lightning at both him, and Tenbatsu. Tenbatsu however, kept a small set of water pillars that diverted the lightning away from him.

"Damn. I was hoping I could just activate the little Angel and everything would go smoothly." He cursed when Tenbatsu jerked his hand at him. He knew that technique. He grunted as he felt his body freeze up before being thrown back into a wall.

He really hated that little trick of his. He saw Arainami fall victim to it as well. Tenbatsu was getting serious then.

Thinking quickly, he started another chain of seals. _"Sakashima no Suiryuudan: Kyuumu!" _Tenbatsu froze. Kisame smiled. There. The Sanbi Jinchuuriki had been neutralised, and all he had to do now was finish of the other one.

"Raiton: Raiyari!" Another spear caught him in the shoulder and Kisame grinned. This was going to be fun.

Inside of the Gargantuan Jinchuuriki's mind, an entirely different battle was being fought. The Sanbi was deep under the rolling waves, completely ignoring the two versions of Tenbatsu that were trying to punch each other's daylights out. One was Tenbatsu completely bare. The other, was the exact same copy, only he had broken manacles on his wrists and ankles.

The manacled Tenbatsu (AN: From now on, they will be One, and Two. One is the one with the chains.) attempted to punch his counterpart, who did the same thing. Their fists collided, sending shockwaves through the water they were standing on.

That was their problem. Their thinking was too aligned and synchronised. Whenever one went to punch, the other mirrored. Grappling each other was also out of the question, as they both attempted the same technique at the same time. Ninjutsu crashed into each other and it seemed like neither were going to win.

A fist collided in both of their faces, breaking their noses and sending them flying back. They skipped along the water and come to stop about ten or so feet away. _'…'_

One rubbed his nose belatedly, glaring at his counterpart with deep blue eyes. He ran a hand through his hair, watching as Two did the exact same thing. Their eyes twitched in sync before they rushed again. They attempted to kick this time, believing the other would never predict such a thing.

Before they would inevitably collide and push each other back, a pair of long, tailfins rose up and smashed into both of them. The Sanbi rose up and glared at the twin Tenbatsu's who in turn, cowered. Slightly.

No words were said. They didn't need them. Silently, both of them squatted calmly on the water. Two made a seal, and One felt himself catapulted into the world again.

He groaned silently, and shook his head. Arainami was looking haggard and tired, and Kisame was as fresh as a daisy. The entire area was submerged in water; Tenbatsu had sunk to the ground like a stone. Silently, he swam up to Kisame's feet. The Shark-like swordsman was grinning at Arainami, and prepared to unleash another Water Shark Bullet when the unmistakably strong and gloved hands of Tenbatsu gripped onto his ankles.

Both Kisame and Tenbatsu moved freely within water whereas the liquid hindered others, and made them sluggish. If anything, they moved much more freely. Tenbatsu was naturally incredibly strong, and easily capable of throwing the large Kisame around like a toy. Given his freedom of movement in water, the toy became a paper plane. He was half-expecting to be tossed away like a ragdoll but was unpleasantly surprised when he came into contact with Tenbatsu's knee.

The blow completely crushed Kisame's spine, and snapped his neck into little pieces. Tenbatsu watched in mild fascination as the shark-nin's features twisted and changed into a much smaller man with an agonized expression and vacant eyes. The water began to wash away, as Tenbatsu held the now dead man up by the ankles like a freshly caught fish.

Somewhere, hidden away in a plateau, Kisame opened his eyes from his meditative position. That had been an interesting fight. There was the sound of slicing winds, and Kisame instinctively rolled forward. "Hanshou, you fucking traitor!" The pitch-black claymore rippled with delight, and split down the middle, revealing rows of sharp jagged teeth and a matching tongue. It let out a piercing shriek that made Kisame's ears ring. He grunted when he realised it had thrown his sense of balance off, and Hanshou was quick to capitalise on the weakness. "I was hoping you'd be meditating for a little longer, Kisame-danna. It makes taking your head so much easier, ne?" The Shark-nin growled and reached for Samehada.

Reiji shrieked again, and he winced, staggering as he tried to regain his balance. "Sorry Kisame-danna. Mizukage's orders." Reiji screeched one more time as it latched onto his neck, shearing at the flesh easily with the jagged teeth and sword-like tongue. Kisame growled and attempted to reach for Samehada one more time. "_Scream_." Reiji obeyed it's master dutifully, letting out a piercing wail, shredding what little flesh joined Kisame's head to his shoulders with ease. '_Such a loud sword…_' Kisame's body flopped to the ground helplessly, as his head rolled away. He left his sword latched to Kisame's body, not wanting to see it devour his former comrade. Instead, he busied himself with sealing the head and the Samehada into a pair of scrolls.

With a content wail, Reiji finished it's 'meal'. Hanshou gripped the handle calmly, and glanced around. "Strange. Didn't Akatsuki members travel in pairs…?" He muttered, as Reiji spat out a ring. "Huh? Couldn't digest that piece? Ah, no matter. Let's go before his partner decides to show up." Hanshou dashed away, strapping his sword to his back as he went, listening to it shriek calmly in a sort of mimicry of purring.

xXx Somewhere, in Tsuchi no Kuni xXx

A silver-haired male pulled a cigarette up to his lips, and inhaled deeply. With his left hand, he was removing the skin of a freshly-killed wolf, and with his right, he was feeling around for a tool. After the skin had been removed, he began dissecting the flesh in search of the chakra coils, thin and almost non-existent as they were in an animal.

Removing them gently, careful not to damage them, he placed them in a jar. He began the same process with the other four corpses, only this time he carefully removed their tails as well.

He hollowed out the flesh, soaked them in chemicals, and began inscribing a variety of storage seals into them. He carved away compartments for various weapons, began inserting scrolls in different areas.

As he worked, he remembered his first days as a Puppeteer.

He had probably been about five, or six at the time when his father informed him they had just purchased the services of a former Suna-nin. His father hadn't been clear on just how much he had paid, and Kairai was too young to really care. Akasuna no Sasori. It was only when Kairai was older, and Sasori had left, that he realised he had been taught Puppetry by one of the most dangerous people in all of the Elemental Countries. He idly wondered just how many guards had watched the lessons, and just how much money had been forked over for the secrets of puppetry.

He had even learned about Human puppets from the ancient puppet master. Naturally, Sasori didn't go into too much detail, and only showed a basic example, but Kairai had managed to filch a scroll detailing how to make one. In hindsight, it was more likely that Sasori had just left it lying about and didn't really care that Kairai had taken it. Perhaps he had thought maybe Kairai would become an 'artist' like him.

It was then, that Kairai realised what he wanted to do with his life. Akasuna no Sasori was a genius. All S-class ninja's where. They were also probably a little crazy, some more then others. But Kairai… he wanted to outshine them. Whenever he looked through a bingo book's 'Most dangerous' section, he saw rivals and fellow 'artists'.

Sasori had made humans into puppets. Orochimaru had created a technique that allowed him to possess a person's body, and even resurrect the dead. Kakuzu of Waterfall had stolen peoples hearts as his own.

Artists. Rivals. Did it matter? They were all geniuses in their own right, but Kairai wanted to be better then them. He wanted to be greater. Each had made some radical advance in medicine and science. Each had broken nature's own laws of life and death. Where others saw monstrosities and foul experiments, Kairai saw the future.

He would never have the resources to create a jutsu like Orochimaru's Edo Tensei. He had no idea where Kakuzu began with his threads. But Sasori… he had a lead on Sasori's Human Puppetry.

But the problem was… what to advance? Then it hit him. _Souls_. A puppet was only as strong as its controller. Even the weakest of puppets is a deadly foe in the hands of a master. But the problem arose, when you tried to control too many puppets. Apparently, Sasori's grandmother, Chiyo, could control ten of them at a time, one for each finger, and that was an achievement in of itself. Sasori himself had hinted that his own control far eclipsed Chiyo's.

But who said you had to control a puppet with chakra strings?

He had all but demanded his father, a Seal Master in his own right, to teach him the austere art of seals. It had taken him since he was eight, but he had developed the **Onidoru** seal.

The puppet wasn't controlled by him, it was animated by a soul, a spirit, and maintained control via chakra. Naturally, the soul was bound to his own, preventing it from turning on him and killing him. The Gobi was such a perfect subject.

But like all projects, it had to be upgraded, refined, _improved_. A cute little puppet with adorable ears was good and all, but it couldn't do much except for a few jutsu or illusions. So, he started creating this.

Gobi Mk. II. The main ingredient in the Gobi puppet was wolf bones, as the chakra had to attach itself to something living. They also formed a handy structure.

He considered it the combination of Orochimaru's Edo Tensei, and Sasori's own Human Puppetry.

He finished attaching the fifth tail, and looked over his handiwork. It resembled a much larger version of the original Gobi-puppet. The entire body was segmented, capable of detaching and reattaching at will, with a variety of hidden weapons in each section. The main focus were the tails though; at the very tips, each tail possessed a high-powered flamethrower fuelled with energy stored in scrolls. The next few segments contained the usual array of senbon, kunai and poisonous gas. And the very base, he inscribed seals that stored a large amount of chain-sickles, so that in the event that all five tails had used up all their ammo, the Gobi could detach them, and release a veritable forest of chain-sickles. Hidden blades abounded in the front two arms, and the mouth contained a rather nasty spear-whip.

"Oi… Mutt. What do you think?" He jerked his head at his latest creation.

"**As long as I'm bigger.**"

"Come on then. Let's transfer your soul." This was the interesting part. Would the soul transfer successfully? If it did, it opened the door for one of Kairai's crazier projects. If it didn't, the failsafe would probably recall the soul and Kairai would writhe in pain for a little bit. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, after all.

"**Akuma Fuuin: Onidoru!**" He winced as he felt the seals twitch and spasm. He could see the purplish glow that was the Gobi's mind and soul drift into it's latest incarnation.

After the process was over, and Kairai managed to start breathing again, he examined the much larger Gobi Mk. II. "… How do you feel?"

"… **I suppose the expression would be like I just got hit by a… boulder? Something large and heavy.**" He attempted to move and fumbled slightly. Kairai laughed. The Gobi growled, and tried again, finding himself more stable this time. "**I may have to become more acclimatised to this.**"

"You'll thank me. Come on. When you're ready, we'll go make our grand entrance." Kairai grinned at his lifetime companion who stared blankly back at him. Without warning, a hail of senbon was launched at him from his furthermost left tail. "Hey!"

"**Oops.**"

* * *

A/N: Is Kisame dead? Is he alive? Who knows?

Hanshou is just a random idea for one of the Seven Swordsmen; I feel like they're fairly underdeveloped as it is. At most we've seen Zabuza, Kisame, Chojuro and Raiga. And of those four, two were killed shortly after being revealed. For the Seven Best Swordsmen in a village famous for Swordsmen, they don't seem all that powerful. Strangely enough, they also seem to have a habit of betraying the village.

Tenbatsu's weapon, is going to be a battering ram. After reading Katekyo Hitman Reborn, I almost felt challenged to come up with an obscure and original weapon. If they can make handcuffs, and an eyepiece deadly weapons, then I just had to try that myself. Unfortunately, I couldn't really think of anything as obscure as an eye piece that would seem halfway logical. For a better idea of it, it kinda resembles a training posts, with all the random bits jutting out of it.

Also, I apologise for the lack of update. I am prone to long durations of procrastination, for no real reason. After watching Sasori vs Sakura and Chiyo again, I felt strangely re-energized.

Hopefully, I don't run out of gas before too long.

EDIT: I'm adding in the jutsu names.

Raiton: Raiyari - Lightning Release: Lightning Spear

Sakashima no Suiryuudan: Shakuzen - Reverse Water Dragon: Sudden Awakening. The seals for this technique are the same as a Water Dragon's, just reversed with an added seal on the end to signify it's intent.

Sakashima no Suiryuudan: Kyuumu - Reverse Water Dragon: Eternal Dream


End file.
